Monday, October 31, 2005

The Majestics

This is the last posting for a week as I am off to Queens and off the grid.
Looking forward to finally closing this apartment. It all began in June.

Megan, my oldest friend who lives down the street in a lovely apartment in Jackson Heights, has this to say about the history of where she lives:

About 9 years ago new people moved into my apartment and my neighbor loved them because they were just so quite. For two years they were incredibly quiet until one day he heard banging and commotion in the hall and he thought someone was trying to break into their apartment. So he GRABBED HIS SWORD and went out into the hall. The cops were there in full force, machine guns, the whole thing. Turns out my apartment was a bookies' den. They were for two years running numbers out of it. The cops were busting the operation that very moment. They shusshed my neighbor and waved him back into his apartment. They never mentioned the fact that he was carrying a SWORD.

Someone at Megan's work asked her, "What do you call people who live in Queens? Queensians? Queenies? Etc..." Her response, "Majestics."

Sunday, October 30, 2005

In Memoriam

Loki, the twelve year old, gray wonder cat, has passed away.

He went before his time. He is survived by Nin and Coconut and a new orange cat, and the bereaved keepers, Leslie and Dan.

Loki and Nin cuddled and licked each other for years.

Loki was deeply loved.

He was a great cat.

To Loki.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Happy Halloween

Can You Guess Which One is Adam?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Guess Which One is Me?

You Ever Have One of those Days?

When you fall in love with your psychiatrist?

In his words: "Most psychological problems come from insecurity and greed."

I guess, put more crassly, it's all about love and money.

We must all work on our relationships with love and money.

Trusting it. Trusting it. Trusting it.


Good days to all.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


My poor parents.

This hurricane went right over their house--Yanked off roof tiles and ruined a screen and broke a window.

But the good news is, the hurricane shutters were up...and safely inside, they weren't even terrified.

I have nothing against trailers, but I'm glad they don't live in one.

Last year they had much worse damage from one of those windy hell beasts and they had to replace the entire enclosure of the Florida room.

So, they fared pretty well this time around.

But what about these hellicanes?

Oh genius energy czar, come forth!

Friday, October 21, 2005

12 Years

October 20, 2005...

My State-of-California-Recognized-Domestic-Partner and I, Adam, have been together for twelve years.

And we're both still really into it.

My sweet baboo sent me a monster bouquet of flowers of them schmancy arrangements from a great local shop.
Red Roses, White and Yellow Calla lilies, Red Amaryllis, Purple Dahlias and some other things...

And like a big girl, I cried.

We ate at Table 8---some star of ER was sitting next to us. Anthony Edwards? Yeah.

The place was loud and the food was okay. But it was pretty.

Adam hated it.

I was happy to see people all dressed up in a nice place.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

A Slow Walk

When you walk very slowly, you get to see things. I did this tonight.

It's better than doing drugs or watching television. Just making yourself walk real slow is like a meditation.

Forcing yourself to slow down is fascinating. It reminds you of how hard you've been pushing.

It also reminds you of how lovely everything is...but you just haven't seen it in a while.

In my particular neighborhood, there are many old buildings with interesting wrought iron work and unique stained glass windows and doors. Real people from about eighty years ago made these things. I think they are so nice.

October 19, 1974

I got a dog today named Kojak. I went to the football game. I hate my brother's fucking guts. He is a real live faggot.

Monday, October 17, 2005

October 17, 2005

Let it be known.

I finished writing my book today.

It weighs in at 311 pages.

It's called OPEN TRENCH.

Here is the table of contents:

The Road So Traveled

Little Miss America
When No One Called, I Had to Answer
The Rashomon of Cousin Mickey
Oops, I Went Crazy
There’s No Free Lunch, Unless You’re Freddy Fishkin
Which Way to the Free Market?
Vanity’s Exhaustion

Short and Tall Tales from Dreamland

Miss Teen U.S.A.
The Beta Male
The Literary Whore, a Commercial Construct
Hollywood is a Great Place for Drugs
Oh Hair
Cult Classic
Over Acting or Run to the Light Carol Anne
Let Me Eat Butter

Loving and Dying in Los Angeles

Love Makes the World Get Round or My Life en Croute
Viagra: The Seven Suggestions
June and Fourth
I Came, I Saw, I Cankered
I Hate You
They Breed Horses, Don’t They?
Open Trench
Darwin Sails Away
Are You Willing to Die for Your Country?

Sunday, October 16, 2005


Okay, so we ate some pot roast and went to see Capote.

I have to admit...I was never a big In Cold Blood fan.
I know. I know. There’s something wrong with me. I can only say that Philip Seymour Hoffman was outrageous and you can bet on him for best actor Oscar. No question.

But the whole story of this movie....the whole morality tale that Capote used these guys and in the end it sort of killed him. Sure. Okay. Bad egomaniac goes down. And the whole historical incident to begin with, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was the loss of innocence for America.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, it was some sort of turning point. But for some reason, I just, I just, I just don’t buy it.

I just don’t.

I think America was jaded before that big murder. Because Capote was older than the killers.

I don’t know what’s with me. I never thought much of Elvis. I never cared for James Dean. And I never thought much of In Cold Blood. And so the movie left me a bit bored.

But Philip Seymour Hoffman. Genius.

Friday, October 14, 2005

A Night With Joan

The genius, Mary McBride, had the great idea to go see Play it as it Lays at the New Beverly Cinema . (Which is anything but new)

So after a fine dining experience at The Pig (which is expanding) on La Brea, where we three, Adam, Mary and I, ate much Brisket, we took a walk and saw this film

Tuesday Weld, though not exactly smart enough for the role, was certainly beautiful and completely got the whole mood of the character. Tammy Grimes was brilliantly jaded.

And frigging Anthony Perkins. He gets to kill himself while Tuesday strokes his hair!

Better than the movie, of course, is the book. One of the best books ever. But this movie, man, made in 1972, with completely smoggy, decadent Los Angeles, art directed to perfection is truly amazing.

If you’ve never read Play it as it’s pretty much the story of an aging starlet who sees the emptiness of her life and of those around her. But in Joan Didion’s hands, it is, of course, way more than that.

Read the book. It’s really short and one of the best things I’ve ever read. See the movie. It’s fabulous.

Next Thursday evening: The Battle of Algiers

Wednesday, October 12, 2005


This is my review for Romance at the Mark Taper Forum:

Go see it.


Guys, if you hate going to the theatre but you consent to attend at least once each year, this is the one to see. Mamet wrote a hilarious farce. He truly caught the spirit of Dario Fo. There are so many funny moments, situations, surprises, lines, jokes, etc. It’s really smart. And the guy who plays the judge, honestly, gives the funniest live performance I have ever seen. No kidding.

Go see it. It runs through the end of November.

Did I say go see it?

Go see it.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Congratulations Megan!

Megan moved into her new place today in Queens. It's very exciting.
Adam happily points out the new digs.

Happy Megan.

There is Only One Thing Left to Do

Duck and Cover!

No use in getting mad any longer. No use in taking a righteous liberal stance.
Just find a safe place to live until this is all over. The beauty of our system is there are no kings. And this buffoon will disappear. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to your friends. Be kind to strangers. Help blind men and three legged dogs. Take an optimistic stance within your immediate surroundings. Good Luck.

Days Left In Office

Friday, October 07, 2005

Book Update: OPEN TRENCH


My book is minutes away from completion. I have one essay left to edit and it's off to my State-of-California-Recognized Domestic Partner, Adam, for perusal and commentary.

I started this thing while staying for two nights at The New Camaldoli Hermitage up near Big Sur in Lucia in April of 2002. Since then, I've worked on it between other projects, eventually realizing that if I was ever going to finish it, I better make it top priority. That was about a year ago. And here I am.

I loved working on it, but frankly, I can't wait to send it off.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Fresh Out of Criticism

Today, I decided to pay attention to the input from my vision.

Most men are very vision oriented. I'm much more into sound.

So in an effort to just have a different take on things, I decided to stop listening and to stop thinking for a while so I could just look at stuff around me. It was very interesting. And quiet. I saw some cool things.

The maroon turban on the head of an Indian Cook on La Brea.

The strung, multi-colored Christmas lights above my head at the great neighborhood health restaurant.

The Easter Egg Blue paint of my bathroom, the line of the paint somewhat jagged at the white ceiling.

The silver and black dread lock hanging off my dog's ear.

The green and yellow colors of the icons of the software I used at my accounting job in Venice.

My State-of-California-Recognized-Domestic Partner, Adam's long blond hair.

The green of my sofa.

The best was the stark light at 7PM along Sycamore. The leaves of the trees are really dried out and yellowish-brown and the air has no moisture in it because of the Santa Anna thing going on. The light was not at all diffused, just sharp and brilliant.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Bush and his Picks

I got to thinking today.

Maybe George Bush really only played to the extreme Right all these years.

Or maybe he had to pick Moderates because his approval rating is so low.

But whatever he's up to, his plans to change the world have failed.

"Word on the street is, Bush is going down."

The George W. Drop Game

Monday, October 03, 2005

The Gut Doctor

Somehow, my blog posts are getting quite personal...

I will keep this brief, blog a bit differently in the future or maybe even take a little blog vacation:

1) I went to the Cedars-Sinai Tower today to see a gut genie, a very respected and very affable gastroenterologist. He listened to me for a very long while, took notes, and spent some time pressing all around my gut. We went back into his office and he looked deep into my eyes and told me, "You are very healthy. There is nothing wrong with you. I doubt you even have GERD. You just have sensitive body issues. Try these pills and call me in three weeks. But really, you are perfectly healthy."

When I started to talk about every single thing you can talk about in relation to gall bladder, GERD, and everything else, he would calmly look at me and just say, "You are perfectly healthy."

I went home and ate a huge meal, had a glass of wine and had absolutely no negative reactions to the food. That fucker hypnotized me into health. He's a genius. For most people, the gut is this reactive emotional place so this gut doctor must see stress case nuts like me every single day. And how does he do his healing? By convincing you that you are totally fine.

2) I spoke with my mother. She thinks I have become addicted to the computer and that I need to get out of the house. I think she might be right.

This Blog is Brought to You by Mylanta

Recently, while still in a weekly partying mode, it became very clear to me that I was suffering from some sort of nastiness. I ignored the smaller signs over the last two years. But a monster attack sent me to the doctor upon which it was revealed that I have Acid Reflux. No big deal, right?

Oddly, my mind, instead of handling this quietly and calmly, turned this into the worst thing that could have ever happened and I became quite anxious which eventually lead to actual panic attacks in the backyard, followed by howling and crying. Lucky for me, my State-of-California-Recognized-Domestic-Partner, Adam, was quite lovely about the whole thing and didn’t have me hauled off.

During one other period in my life I suffered from panic attacks. It was when I was nineteen and I was dealing with coming out of the closet. The change, stress and revelation were too much for my adolescent mind to handle. I grew terrified and it took me quite a few years of therapy to calm the hell down.

So, I got to wondering, at 43 years old, with a very solid understanding of who I am, why would I be panicking so much? And after many hours of restful meditation, the pieces started coming together...I am probably going to die at 86. So I am facing the downward slide into the grave, with no guarantee of anything. I recently visited my parents and though they look pretty much the same, they are more fragile. My favorite Great Aunt Helen is 81 and in the final stages. And then there was that whole Katrina thing. Plus, I am just about finished with my book and this is terrifying. We are in the middle of a real estate deal that has been dragging on for four months. And lastly, being diagnosed with something as stupid as Acid Reflux, I assigned to it the marker of, “Last stop for a good slice of cheese before you die.” It also didn’t help my anxiety that the strong pills they make for this affliction totally disagreed with every single organ system in my body not to mention my complete aversion to the idea of a lifetime of medication.

Not being shy, I told everyone about my plight who would listen and I would like to thank everyone who had the patience to endure my repetitive, hypochondriacal woes.

Dan and Leslie listened to me cry. Jeff took me for a walk. John, Adam’s brother-in-law, assured me there is great surgery if I want it. Megan told me I’d get totally better. Todd was completely supportive. My mother was actually very helpful, “You have always had an urgency about everything that you do. It’s your wiring. Try to slow down.” Mary and John held my hand. Claudia looked into my eyes with love. Margot told me hilarious stories about spitting up her own acid into the street. The whole thing was just one big festival of goodness. And though I risk a very corny blog entry, I am very thankful for such friends and family and so in some weird way I kind of have to say, “Thank you Acid Reflux for making me panic and then showing me how cool and supportive and funny people are.”

And lastly, I have to thank my very high wired friend Sarah in Minneapolis whom I always call with affairs of the panicked soul, who, as it turns out, also has wretched reflux and cannot handle the medication and has also been known to have a little panic of her own. And she said, “Listen to me. This is what you do. Get yourself some Mylanta. It’s the only one that works that doesn’t make you crazy. And get yourself some Atavan. You don’t always need to use them...but knowing they’re there in the closet is the only way you’re going to manage this shit.”