Thursday, May 27, 2010

World Trade Center

I watched them go up as a kid. Yeah, I’m that old. And it was exciting. They were to be the tallest buildings on earth. And they were, for a while.

It was cool. It made you feel like something big was happening in New York, that huge city thirty miles away that was filthy, ridden with crime and hot dogs.

And then they came down. I was in Ojai. I thought the store clerk who told us about it must have been mad. Then I called my Dad who said in his strong Art Carney accent, “Can you believe this? It’s unbelievable.”

And then we went back to the B&B and watched it on the T.V., cut our trip short and went back to Los Angeles and watched it on television night after night. Like everyone else.

Now, we are here and we are watching the new building go up. I keep ending up near there. And it keeps going up. I feel like a kid, like a kid who is so excited about something going up.

It looks pretty sturdy. But who knows?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Friends of Don't Ask Don't Tell

I think everyone, Dems, Repubs, super lefties and Libertarians can agree—homosexuals in the military---Totally.

I think Obama is a bit of a black phobe, but he’s all behind it.

This is a no-brainer and everyone is like, yeah, this is a no-brainer.

Why are gay men so good at linguistics? Not to mention, why are gay women so good with their military stance?

Here we go. This is a quick one. Welcome to the current world, all.

Not that I want a military at all. But, well, if we must we must.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Key

The key to happiness…seems to be coming up with people.

I find this, and it is not workable: if I get to some sort of functioning middle ground, all is well.

But adulthood is not like that.

I had one of those early childhoods that was very serene. Lots of family. Very reliable feeding schedule. Simple days. Repetitive days. Any surprises were quick and quickly dispatched.

Many people look for that “great moment” when everything disappears except for some magnificent grandiose pleasure. Those are fun. But they don’t last so I do not go looking. Plus, they stink of escapism and addiction. Of course, the troughs, no one goes looking for them (except for deep neurotics) and they, thankfully, do not last either. But the middle ground, you can make that last for a very long time. And it is pleasurable. Some Buddhists find it.

But then, I often find myself saying, “Fuck the Buddhists! They’re just afraid to really take a chance.”

So I ride between taking chances, because you have to, and then retreating back to middle ground. Perhaps taking chances and not worrying where you land is the middle ground…

Bunions, ugly shoes, irregular sleep, people banging into things.

Monday, May 24, 2010


Why do we resist it? I mean, you exercise and everything gets better. Your mood. Your self esteem. Your body. Especially mine. I am one of those lucky people who—as soon as I work out---I have instant muscle tone and a natural growth of the stuff. And yet---I would rather sit like veal on a loaf of bread than get up the gumption to exercise.

Additionally, when you exercise, you end up getting all this natural regulation with your metabolism so naturally, you reach less for caffeine or wine to push you up or down.

Frankly, and yes, I am mostly speaking like some guy named Frank, frankly, the resistance to exercise is sort of medieval and a form of not being evolved. I hate to denigrate myself, but someone has to do it!

So I am stating publicly---I am going to exercise three times, possibly four, every week. And if I don’t, well, I don’t.

And lots of water.

Does anyone besides me, when they are working out and drinking a lot of water and losing weight, end up getting darker? Like you look tan? I swear, it’s some sort of fat-breaking-down thing going through the blood that makes me appear this way. Or something.

I usually do not talk about body stuff on my blog. It seems very aerobics-1989 to do so. And maybe a bit, I don’t know, girly? But I felt a need to go public. I have been such a sloth.

Drama Desk

I still don’t understand what the Drama Desk Awards are…but I went. Sort of NY star studded. Etc. I approached an actress and I said to her, which is true, “I am a friend of KS who gave you my new play that I wrote for you.”

And she said, “I was in a play. I didn’t read it. I’m such an asshole.”

Then, she turned away from me and introduced herself to a total stranger.

Then, she ran into KS and said she met me and he worked her over.

Face time is everything. But it does give you rickets.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Personality Disorder

Sometimes I wish I were one of two things:

1. A person who needed no attention at all, happy to be an accountant or petty civil servant and simply be done with it from 9-5 and then come home to an uneventful but satisfying home life.

2. A Swedish fisherman who is so simple minded but also so tall and healthy and not easily riled up and certainly without allergies.

I am neither of these two things.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

MidMay Thoughts

1)People try to do what they can. They often end up watching television.

2)Marriage works if you work it. If you don’t, it becomes a nuisance. So just work it.

3)Small feet can do it. You just have to move them faster.

4)I would like to see what a libertarian world looks like. I would stand back and let it happen. But I can already see it. I would have to become a nurse.

5)Arizona, come to Queens. This is the future. It’s quite brown. It’s interesting. It is certainly alive. People are busy. Kind of cool. Why not enjoy it?

6)I believe this is a miracle. So what? The beauty is, it cannot be explained. Another dish of cous cous please.

7)The body has to move.

8)I have a Facebook friend who is in Junior High. It’s creepy and informative.

9)The weather in New York City truly sucks. On the other hand, it will be so interesting when this city is gone and it converts back to mosquitoes and beavers.

10)I don’t want to be fat. But I like to eat. Tricky losing weight. I don’t know how you can.

Battle Royale

This whole States Rights fetish is just a reflection of how much people (especially Americans) like to fight. The states fight with the Feds. The states fight with each other (gimme that river water!).

I like to fight, or at least, I appreciate a challenge. But I would rather have my adversary in any challenge be the difficulty of the project or a race against time.

But to fight other people? Endlessly? Why?

It’s a waste of time and energy and it really does not suit us well.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Vermont is Forever

We went to our niece’s graduation on Sunday. Had a great meal in N. Adams at Mass MOCA. Go eat there, total slow food thing: Gramercy Bistro. Best meal in weeks.

Sunday was the graduation at Marlboro College in Vermont. You know, it’s hard to graduate. Life nipped. I couldn’t wait to get out of college. I ran up a tree trunk sideways after my last final. I was so happy to no longer have to do assignments of any kind.

But after you graduate, the world does get slippery. You’ve been in school since you were five years old and now, suddenly, you are supposed to know how to live this whole new life? No wonder people go insane at this age.

Big time of transition.

But some things are eternal. Like nature. And staying at this farm house in Vermont is really what one wants to do if one wants that. Thrills the young, medium or old soul to the core.

Mountains from the farmhouse. Not a single manmade thing in site.

Vermont Mountains

Old Stone fencepost, no longer in use.

Stone Fence post

Lilacs. Yes. Eternally grateful.

Vermont Lilacs

The Barn.

Vermont Barn

And what likes to live in barns (for the rodent treats)?
Milk Snakes.

Milk Snake

What a face!

Milksnake Head

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Another Little Way to Save Your Computer From Viral Damnation

On a PC, open Adobe Reader. Click Edit>>Preferences. Select Trust Manager from the menu on the left. Look for the PDF File Attachments heading. Uncheck the box labeled, "Allow opening of non-PDF file attachments with external applications." Click OK.

That is is, it is fast and easy to fix.

This will "block" any malware viruses that could be included in pdf files that are sent around.

Similar in Mac.

Guys---I'm just trying to save you time. Better to do this thing now then to wake up in a Koobface nightmare later.

Yours in Hard-Drive purity,


Friday, May 14, 2010

Late Night It Is

There’s this thing I have had to face for about sixteen years. I stay up late. And then I sleep in. And I feel guilty. I usually sleep eight or eight and a half hours. The rest of the day is pretty much busy. But I get to bed so late and it’s supposed to be sort of bad for you. And sometimes, not being in synch with the sun, you end up with problems.

Why do I do it?

It’s simple. Because during the day it’s nothing but people people everywhere. Calling. Texting. Emailing. Throwing rocks through my window with notes attached. It’s completely fantastic and I would not want it to be any other way.

But when you’re a writer, you need time when you are completely alone and quiet. I find the only time of day for such a thing is after midnight. (I know, some people get up at 6 AM and write for a few hours before the day begins. I don’t even understand what it is to be an organism at that time of day.)

So, I get my four hours in at the end. After all the calls and meetings and shenanigans. After the pork chops. After the one or two glasses of wine followed by the three or four cups of tea with just one aching tea bag. After the exercise that never happened. After the bills. After the cleaning. After the facebooking. After the paper. After the emails. After the show. After the whole damn shebang.

Living is very important. Writing comes second. If writing came first, I bet I would not have much to write about.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

They Say

In your wiring, you either lean more toward autism or schizophrenia. Apparently, there’s a choice here (or a condition here). Based on my flights of internal dialogue, the ability to feel anything as if it happened yesterday and a hint of paranoia I believe I am more schizophrenic than autistic. For me, human interactions become larger and last longer than they actually are whereas someone who leans more toward autism the reverse would be true.

How do you lean?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Neanderthal is Back

Hello friends. No, I wasn’t in my cave painting, I was traveling. The blog entries grew fewer. People stood on their digital stoops waiting yet nothing arrived. Forgive me.

But I am back! And more Neanderthal than ever!

I love that we Human Beings interloped with the Neanderthals and that anywhere between 1 and 4 percent of my Euro (or Asian) DNA is Neanderthal. I am sure I am more like 4 percent. You can sort of smell it on me.

In case you have not been reading about it, they have discovered, by comparing DNA, that earlier humans had sexual relations with Neanderthals. So here we are.

I wonder what those sexual relations were like. Were Neanderthals invited over to Cro-Magnon houses for truffles and sherry and the next thing you know, someone’s in the upper cave making the two different beasts with two different backs?

Or was it something much less dignified? Like inter sub-species rape? And these rapes went in either specie direction depending upon size and fleetness? It remains a mystery. Though, one hopes in the future that DNA shows markings of all history to its minutest detail. That would be great. “According to this DNA, his great-great grandfather ate three potatoes three days before his death, listened too much to Puccini (when he should have been listening to his own heart) and rarely bathed.”

I love my inner Neanderthal. I feel him. He is the loser who somehow won.

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Friday, May 07, 2010

Blogger's Weekend

I’m a bit on holiday. Are you? There is something about just letting it go and such. Pressure: nah.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Pay Attention

The longer you wait, the longer it takes. But what is interesting is---you have to wait for some things and not push. So one figures out when to wait, when to take action, when to rest and let it firm up, when to go full steam ahead. It’s good to pay attention to all that.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Well Well Well, Or...

BP: Better Pollution

Friends, it is cheap to keep doing the same thing, we all know this. It is expensive to change. And people are so naturally cheap. (What, give up my McMansion so a bunch of people can have clean air and water? Fuck you man.)

Even after this clean up, how many more cleanups will we have to do before we get over this oil thing? Think forward, friends. I know, I know, the sun, the wind, a joke, right? Not really. They’re forever. And they don’t cover the ducks and beaches with grease.

Why can’t we have less now and more later?

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Sunday, May 02, 2010

Hi Friends

I simply want to say this at this time. I love all people no matter what color they are or where they come from. I mean, I have this super fucking WASP boyfriend with a ginger beard and ridiculously blue eyes and I think it’s lovely and all, but really, it’s only because the neighbor boy growing up looked like that and I was imprinted. Boys are weird. We are sexually told what’s what at a young age. I am just so grateful mine had nothing to do with a spatula.

But forgetting sex and love and imprinting, I think everyone is so lovely and beautiful and I don’t care if you crawl across the Sonora Desert, come on in. Do what you must. I know I do. Give it a try. If they deport you, well, they deport you, but in the meantime, they might give you a Green Card because they will be handing them out, and maybe you can get your hands on one of those.

I have been to Mexico many times. And I do think the United States has more to offer in the opportunity department. So if you want to come here for that, I completely understand. Just work, keep your nose clean, educate those kids, don’t throw garbage on your lawn, keep the radio down and rock to it. At least, that’s my preference.

Do what you must. I would do exactly what you are doing if I was in your shoes. Maybe the U.S. will keep an eye on all this and make it a nicer transition for you. Maybe not. But know that I am so glad you are here. It’s so interesting.