Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Blogs, They're Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

I was walking out of Barnes & Noble, exiting quickly, because even though I don't have a normal job, I am still over scheduled and always running late. As I was passing the last book stand near the front exit I saw a Royal Blue book with Big Orange letters. It said BLOG Understanding the Information Reformation that's changing Your World. I had no idea who Hugh Hewitt was. And frankly, how could I? He lives in such a different world than I do.

In any event, I snagged the book after reading just one random page and figured, hell, I'll read it on the plane to New York.
And though I did not have the time to finish it on the plane East, I did start it in New York, gasped in surprise and then finished it on my way back to Los Angeles.

The book poses as an understanding of why blogs are so very important in this day and age. The real message, however, is that the Right is taking over the United States and anyone who doesn't understand that is an idiot and if he is reading this book and doesn't understand this fundamental truth, then he should put the book down. Why in the world would you want to only speak to those who are already thinking like you? Also, there were some interesting points in the book about the history of publishing and the history of Martin Luther's shenanigans, so why not share that with everyone? And furthermore, I have some other things to ask Hugh Hewitt.

1) Why do you ask anyone who is leftward leaning to stop reading this book? Are you not then just telegraphing that this is going to be a tighty Righty diatribe?

2) Why is your opinion so completely steadfast, pretending to glean your understanding of the world with a large scope when obviously, you only listen to yourself and others like you? Why not admit that half this country and more than half of its writers and creators lean left? Are you terrified of that?

3) Why not just embrace the Right and the Left and see them as two halves of a whole that are necessary for a society to proceed in an orderly fashion? The Left, in this country, creates. The Right, in this country, preserves what the Left created over the centuries. Furthermore, understand that people on the Left are predisposed to Communalism which is obviously a scary thing to raging individualists.But Communalism won't kill you. It's really just an idea based on the biological urges of most mothers. Does the female thrust scare you?

4) Why all the attack metaphors throughout the book? Why all the, "We must Kill the competition?" Since the Right has gained such huge control of the government, why is the Right still screaming and fighting? Wasn't it enough to win? Why continue to beat up on little old lefties? Is it because beating people up is what you want to do more than anything else? And if you do, why not just admit it? We don't mind. You can take up boxing and get it out of your system. Is the Right still so threatened by the Left that the fighting and beating just cannot stop? Chances are, the Right is terrified, but why? We're all in this together. Why don't you just go beat someone up? I bet you can find someone who wants to be beaten on Craigs List.

5) The Right and the Left need to live together in peace. So, let's admit something here. First of all, the Left in this country and all across Europe is pretty much not so religious. This means when we have abortions we just don't think it's any big deal. Now, I'll admit that this might be a bad way to look at birthy things. (But until absolute birth control is available, it will be necessary). So, if we on the Left admit that killing the unborn might be a bit freaky, then can the Right admit that plundering the earth's resources for greed is completely indefensible?

6) Do You understand that Democrats are Not anti-American, we are just Pro-World?

7) Why do Christians want everyone to be Christian? Is it some sort of insecurity?
If Christianity is so great, why isn't it obvious? Make Christianity the obvious choice, people will flock to it in droves. Make it kind and generous. Make it soft and beautiful. They will all come running, don't you think?

8) Why do you insist that people in California are out of touch? California has, by far, the biggest economy of any state and also has a larger economy than every country on earth except for the top seven or eight. We must be doing something right. Yet, we are practically Socialists. What's up with that?

9) Why does the Right like guns so much? Do they help with killing the competition? Again, why all this talk about killing the competition?

10) We, on the left, are happy to give you a completely Libertarian land of free enterprise provided that you give us the following three things:
A country without guns. A country with free, and I mean completely free, healthcare, education and food. And guaranteed affordable housing. You on the right can charge anything you want for anything else. We won't buy it if we don't want it. Can you and yours do that?

11) Remember, the Democratic Party is not going anywhere. I know you'd love to think it is dead. But face it, that brilliant Rove and that limited Bush forged together a lot of factions to make the Republican Party what it is today, and you know it cannot hold. The Religious zealots want their day and the Republican Party is too rational to let them have it. The Jeezies won't stand for that sort of slap in the face. What in the world are you going to do about that?

12) Do you really think a system that was designed to be a two party system is ever really going to be anything less? Come on. Perhaps the Republican Party will split into Christian Libertarians and Conservatives and the Democrats will become the new majority. What will you do?

13) Europe is ahead of us in years when it comes to being civilized. Most of Europe has a Socialist leaning. Does that say anything to you?

14) Next time you write the title on a book and call it BLOG Understanding the Information Reformation that's Changing Your World and what you really want to write is BLOG Understanding how Hugh Hewitt really really really wants the United Sates to be a one party town of ass whooping right wing Christians looking for a slam down fight, then why don't you just put that on the jacket cover?


As Anita Bryant would say: "Blogs, they're not just for breakfast anymore."

But remember Hugh and Anita, all kinds of people eat breakfast and chances are, we need them all to be well fed.

1 comment:

Mr. H.K. said...

Amen, Brother! Amen!