So, I had a run-in with my writing.
How can I, as a liberal, white, priveleged male in this country write about racism honestly? And I mean, my own. I feel like, as they sing in Avenue Q that Everyone's a little bit racist. Not to any other point than we notice differences and we back off or judge or simply feel put off or alienated by the difference.
So, can't I not write that I noticed a whole gaggle of black people and I was like, look at all those black people? And if they are all working at the register at say, Target, and they're moving real slow with their big painted fingernails, can I have a reaction to that, an honest reaction, and write it down for publishing...my reaction being something like--"These black women are all moving very slowly and they all have very long nails. Perfect for moving even more slowly at the register. I'm so annoyed. I feel so superior to them, they are not my people, but at the same time I feel awful that they are imprisoned at a low-end corporate job." And with writing that and being honest about my racism while at the same time feeling very compassionate toward these people even though I feel superior and annoyed, isn't that the height of self awareness and ultimately the key to moving forward as a group of assorted nuts in one big bad box store? Don't I do a service by noticing my racism, writing about it, and moving on, loving these people? People subject to my racism feel the racism emenating from me, anyway, whether I mention it or not. And, when they also see that I quickly drop the judgment and try to love them, they feel that, too.
So I can write about it, right?
Or am I just a delusional prick?
Is it too sensitive a subject?
I find other Liberals to be so dogmatic in their color blind approach to life. But at the same time, I see their behavior and it is just as racist as everyone else's.
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