Tuesday, February 25, 2014

I Want to Say Something to the Ladies

First of all, there are so many jokes that could be made here so it is essential that we do not do that in this little message-in-a-bottle-thing-that-is-a-blog. Who even blogs any longer? Oh, me.

So, there I was, reading and reading about all these women who are upset and all these parents of girls who are upset about the images that are being fed to them...of women.  Nice looking ones. Look. It's awful. No one denies that. It's all computer manipulation and other horse shit. But I want to put my foot down in one place. Can't the women in movies and on T.V. still be pretty? We all like to look at good looking people. Sure, we want them to be able to act, too. And be charismatic. And have that ability to behave so naturally that you think they are your best friend. All that. But sometimes, I've noticed, that when a young woman is attractive and she is real comfy with that (just like young men) then a lot of these other traits are more permissible. We give the more attractive, naturally, more attention. They often blossom under this positive gaze. Let them have it. Let them get rich on it. Let them enjoy it. Let them be beautiful. Would you stop a physicist from understanding String Theory or a cafeteria lady from screaming, "Eggs!" when she runs out of them in the steam table? I don't think so. As far as magazines go, the air brushing and slimming and all that, well that's just hell. But please leave me my good looking film and television actors. I'm getting old and loose and I like to be reminded of what it once was like. Hot is hot. It keeps us going. Some joy, please.

Now, let's hit abortion. I've talked about this before. If you are an atheist, and it seems I am, at least in any way that a religious person would define me by how I view how the world is here...then there is really no way that you can even begin to talk about when-a-soul-enters-a-fertilized-egg. There is only fertilization and non-fertilization. So, once there is a mash-up of an egg nucleus and a sperm nucleus, I don't see how you have anything else there BUT a future person. However. If it were me and some frigging future person invaded my body and I didn't want it, I'd simply kill it. Yeah. Kill. You're killing it. So kill it. And let's not pretend that it is anything less than that.

People kill and are killed and die and cause death every day. Sorry to be so callous. But there it is.

So here is my plea:  Let women be beautiful. At least on the screen. (And PLEASE, let the men be beautiful, too, by all means.)  And if you are invaded by sperm and it hits your egg and you have a new life in you and you don't want, Fucking kill it and let's all stop crying about it.

JR, a cafe owner in LA, once said so eloquently about Reproductive Rights, "Men just have to stop talking about it. Now!" She's right. Sort of.

But when it comes to beauty and Biology, I kind of can't stop talking about either one.


Tandava (Carol Henning) said...

The problem isn't so much not wanting beauty in media, but rather that the definition of "beauty" (certainly where women are concerned) isn't really beauty at all, but conformity to a very narrow set of physical characteristics that are in fact unhealthy to the point of being grotesque.

But women are told that if we don't conform to this standard, we won't be valued. And men are so conditioned to value this standard, that they will override their own natural impulse to see beauty in women who don't fit this standard, in order to maintain status with their male friends.

I have known quite a few men who have rejected women they admitted to being attracted to -- physically and intellectually -- in favor of a "beautiful" woman whom they didn't like so much, but whom their friends and family would value more.

In terms of media, the double-standard is evident. You say, "Don't take away the beautiful women." But look at the men. They are all different shapes and sizes, and they all get the girl... who always looks the same.

It is said that Cleopatra was the most beautiful woman in the world, but that was not because her physiognomy was so special, but rather her charisma and intelligence were irresistible.

In a recent meme, Emma Thompson is quoted as advising actresses, in response to demands that they "lose weight", to ask, "Is this important for the character?" And if it isn't then to tell them that what they want is a model, not an actress.

In the early '90s, balding, aging actors like Patrick Stewart and Anthony Hopkins became sex symbols -- based on their power as performers and men. Women found them very beautiful indeed. It's said that Patrick Stewart telephoned a woman suffering from ovarian cancer, and the disease went into remission almost immediately.

So it's not that anyone wants less beauty in the media; in fact, we want more of it, in all its stunning, fascinating, riveting, and transformative variety.

* said...

You are a smart and sensitive person, T.
I love what you have to say. It's true.

Tandava (Carol Henning) said...

And you are thoughtful, intelligent, and outspoken -- and inspiring! I found myself continuing to think about this, and so wrote a blog entry in response. Curious to know your thoughts...