Greek Lesson: Obama's Running Mate

To win the swing states, Obama’s obvious choice for a running mate should be a blastula.

Just a little ring of cells, a few days after conception, to take on foreign policy and the like.

Or maybe he should take on a high level Exxon executive or Clarence Thomas?

If McCain is going to reach across and perhaps choose Lieberman, then Obama should have no trouble reaching across and asking Cheney to do it all over again.

Though millions of disgruntled voters would like to see Hillary Clinton on the ticket, it seems unlikely given that she is Hillary Clinton. It will be difficult enough for an intelligent black man to win this election, never mind an intelligent black man and an intelligent woman together. If he wants a woman on the ticket, he needs to go for a more folksy dame, someone people might want to have a beer with. How about Britney Spears? Or, let’s face it, that great campaigner, Paris Hilton? They drink beer.

However, if Obama is to choose a woman (and not someone from Kansas, please), my vote would be for Athena. She’s a warrior goddess. This will aid the Obama team since swing people like a good war. But even better, Athena was the virgin patron of Athens, which built the Parthenon (Parthenogenesis: to be born without having to copulate, like some worms and lizards) in her honor. And we all know Americans hate sex but love battle. Athena, the sexless goddess of war. Obama needs to choose Athena.