Bird Orgy

Like locusts they are!

Pigeons are fucking everywhere you turn.

Lucky for me, I can open my bathroom window and toss water on the pigeons that are trying to start a family under my air conditioner in the main room.

I wouldn’t mind them so much, if they weren’t so loud!

All the guttural mating. And the fluttering of the wings.

And the girl, she wants it! Bad! She sits below the A/C on the windowsill, hunkering down, shaking her tail feathers (I finally know what that really means).

And Mr. Pigeon is all puffed up, making his noise.

I say, CHECK INTO A MOTEL 6!

As if the busses and the kids on their skateboards aren’t enough outside my window four stories below…now I have to listen to this bird fucking?

I just keep tossing water at them. It’s my form of avian birth control.

Probably, the stress of this water boarding is going to kill these damn birds. I bet they need to mate or they get sick with the backed up sperm and useless egg.

But I don’t care. We certainly don’t need any more pigeons in Queens!

A few days ago, there was a seagull flying around. I kind of liked that. Then, I thought, “Must be a load of garbage nearby.”

Birds… they really are filthy. I say…stay in the trees and away from my appliance.