Step and Fetch It Obama

Dear Separate But Equal, Barak Obama,

Let’s make this very plain. People who are gay are not allowed to see their dying partners in hospitals unless they have all sorts of (very expensive) legal documents. And even then, hospital workers may barricade the door to a loving gay partner.

This is simply ludicrous.

I completely understand that some people are nauseated and loaded with contempt when visualizing the bumping together of gender-identical genitalia. I fucking hate listening to Rap and Hip-Hop (which I hear every day) but there isn’t much I can do about that, now is there!

Listen, buddy---rise up to it. Enough with the caution. Once New York and California accept gay marriage, you must make it federal. Completely equal rights, my friend.

This is a horrendously contentious country, loaded with prejudice, bullies and guns. Too bad. Don’t be so afraid. Stop trying to be liked by all. Strap on your demi-black sack and face the inevitable and get on it. And stop hiding behind your religion. There is nothing in religion that condemns this.

Don’t make me come to D.C. and kiss you.