I Want to Help So Much

I love my ladies.
I love my lady actors.
I love my lady movies.

I love the salaries my ladies get.

All of it.

So it always surprises me when I hear Tina Fey, the most successful woman in television history, get so unhappy in her ugly outfits.

But hell---that's just me.

I was not raised in a state of mind where I thought because of the vagina between my legs, I would be at a huge disadvantage.

I have always looked at the actor business as one that is kind to women. Not so much because there are that many available gigs...because there are not...but because acting always just seems to appear more interesting when it is working through a woman.

Culturally, women have a huge advantage over men. They are allowed to notice, react, be emotional, have large personalities tempered by innate intelligence. And more. Often, these traits are written into the characters that women get to play. I always wanted to play those sort of roles back in the day. Not that I wanted to play female roles, necessarily, but rather, to play intelligent, feeling characters that behaved in the world, pretty much, more how I behaved in the world. They seemed to have more complex things to do on stage, in film. And were allowed greater sensitivity, which I liked.

I also just don't care if Emma Stone makes less than Michael Keaton. I mean, she gets to play great parts and she makes a ton of money.

Meryl Streep? Wouldn't lots of men want her salary and  her roles?

Yeah, I know, I'm missing the point. I hear you. But I am so in awe of these talented women, by what they do, by how wealthy they are, how funny, you name it...so I do not feel like they need my help.

Women need to take over as much as they would like to or as much as they can. But Hollywood is a corporate town and everyone has to answer to shareholders.  And if movies with hot white guys heaving their naked chests while slinging guns in the spirit of destroying Islamic terrorists is what sells---then, that company town is going to sell those things.  I have no interest in rough, gunny, kill 'em all movies, but a lot of people do.

I know a guy who is of Asian genetics who is gay and furious because, basically, no one wants to have sex with him. I mean, he has a lot of sex, so I do not understand why he thinks he does not. But he is seriously unhappy about something and everything Asian. And this deficit is tied to his sense of appeal. I don't know what to say to a person like that. How much do you need, really?

It is a very interesting thing to me that people are so unglued by what they do not have. I feel like, in full middle age, that I have had so many disappointments and near misses and struggles as have many of my successful and also-ran friends. I just always figured, "Well, I guess this is a hard business. Reset."

I would love a mountain of money. Surely. As large as Jim Carrey's or Catherine Zeta Jones. I'm not quite as bi-polar as either one, but I'm working on it.

I don't know if we owe the world parity. I don't know exactly what we owe the disenfranchised wanters of the world, especially when it comes to Hollywood---which is, ultimately, a glamour industry peddling mystery and sex. I mean, and I mean this, I remember being in my twenties and I actually had thoughts like this, "I can't wait to be older so I am not just considered for what I look like and how much people want to get me in bed."     Well the day did come---and most physical consideration of any kind fell away.  And that was good. It freed me up. But, it's a sexy industry. So wish away your sexiness at your own peril.

I am obviously ambivalent around this subject. I absolutely would like everyone to feel that the world is fair and that our businesses, including our top glamour industry, reflected in real percentages our populace. But just because I think women are better at acting than men, does not help anything. Men, in their stronger physical push and bravado in the world that comes with testosterone and other advantages, are just more wanted at this point and sell more tickets. It's entirely unfair. I do not know how to fix it. I guess repeating it over and over again is important.  I hope Tina and all the talented XX wonders get as much as they want and need.

I wish this for the astronaut subculture and the CEO seats, too.

I wonder what else can be done? In addition to the yowling about it?

I am not looking to be shamed for writing this because "I just don't get it." I do. The math is wrong. It's not equal. I get it. Keep up the good outspoken energy, everyone. We all need to keep at it. But something has to tip so we get past this. What is it?

Gloria Steinem, please respond to this post?  You are always so smart.