The Big Question

“How do I want to feel?”

This is the big question. It’s just the same old idea that has sold, like, a jillion self-help books. “Think positive,” and “Be grateful,” and “Live a life that is loving and nonjudgmental,” “Think positive,” “Be Happy,” etc.

But it just seems so much more active to me and so much easier to remember to simply ask, before I go into any stressful situation or even any neutral situation, “How do I want to feel?” and steer things toward that outcome. This includes deciding for a longer range that no matter what, I am going to enjoy the day or even better, the lifespan.

I am an especially reactive person. This is not so much because I don’t like people, it’s more because I am porous. So, whatever people are feeling, I pretty much feel what the other people are feeling, in real time. I don’t do this on purpose and I don’t know where this comes from. But since so many people are unhappy, nasty, judgmental, afraid, anxious, depressed, you name it—I feel it, immediately, from anyone who surrounds me. It’s a bit much. Add in my own propensities toward fear and worry and despair. Blech.

So, it is essential I ask myself, “How do I want to feel?” before all encounters with people, actions, even inanimate objects. I will feel closer to how I want to feel if I make a declaration of what that is.

“How do I want to feel?” Ask yourself five times today, before you do something, especially something dull or irritating, how you want to feel. It’s an easy thing to remember and takes very little effort.


Additional breaking news: 12:59 AM, an earthquake came through just as I finished editing this entry. I immediately decided that it would be exciting and fun. And it was.
4.5 quake. About 24 miles away. People in the Northwest San Fernando Valley must have felt it pretty good. My house did a little shaking with a bit of noise and then settled down. Could a real big one be on its way? And how about that tornado in Brooklyn? It’s so much fun!