Bust it Up

The Pakistan/Afghanistan border is approximately eight-hundred miles long, not counting undulations.

Since this area cannot be policed due to its tough terrain, it remains a land of outlaws. The governments of Pakistan and Afghanistan cannot control the terrorist types who inhabit the caves and dells of this mountainous region.

My suggestion: sixteen nuclear warheads spaced fifty miles apart along the border. This is not because I want to kill millions of people. Since this area is sparsely populated, not many people will perish. But what this will do is make the area uninhabitable for a while. Why not say “Bombs Away!”? It’s already a pretty nasty place to live. Sixteen nuclear warheads will make it completely unpleasant and one of the world’s nastiest killing clubs will be disbanded.

Then, Cindy Sheehan could swallow large quantities of plastic explosives, put herself in a circus cannon on Pennsylvania Avenue, have herself kaboomed into Bush’s office and when she lands, detonate her nifty cell-phone bomb detonator and suicide-murder George Bush.

After, the border, Bush and Cindy are all gone, let’s all go to the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh to see Jihad: The Musical.

At this point, I’m ready for this whole farce to be reduced to a floor show. Apparently, the play has received very good reviews.