Something about killing your pet is not only sad, it is also extremely exhausting.
The emotional drain. There you are sitting at the Vet---they take the cat into a back room, put a catheter in her leg and then bring her back to you.
Then, one shot in the port knocks her unconscious, the second shot stops her from living.
Then, her pupils completely dilate and her tongue hangs out of her mouth and she is, you know, dead.
I have seen this cat scampering around for fourteen years and then I saw her lying there, just like any other dead animal on the highway.
This transition from living to inanimate fur object is shocking to behold.
Adam and I were talking about crying. It seems like grief helps you make the disconnection. It’s how your brain breaks the bond. It’s essential. It wears on you, though.
3 comments:
Well, now you know what dying looks like. Painful as it is, it helps to know, I think. It's so irrevocably final and does also help with the disconnect. I've recently changed my mind about the ghoulishness of open caskets. Mother/Judith
I had to put my dog Lewis to sleep a year ago in November. It still hurts. It's amazing how much these animals become part of the family and part of your heart. I miss him. My heart hurts for all of you.
OY!
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