Thursday, March 27, 2014

This Blog Entry is Brought to you by J. Kaufman

Thanks, J.K.!

Look at this link that compares castle prices to shithole NYC apt. prices, and vomit.

Provided by J. Kaufman, we are all lucky to have such a clear picture.

My friend, B.F., who is not my B.F. but a good friend, has been boasting about living in the greatest city in the world, publicly, and chiding all those who do not live here. Perhaps it is the barely erupting spring that has pushed him into optimistic boosterism. Have your pride, and have a good time.

But the reality of New York, supplied by J.K., is a weird real estate madness, fueled by weird market madness, that makes this city pretend it is a collection of Versailles. Be delusional as you will, all you can hear from inside all the other Versailles around are screams that sound something like, "I went to Yale and have a masters degree in _______ and now I have to live with cockroaches the size of Donuts??"  or  "Go fuck yourself!"  or  "I just  hate my life. My bonus was only 450K this year!"  Things like that.

I love New York, mostly for the trains and subways that whisk you along and through rivers, bays, oceans and mountains. It is enjoyable to never drive and to see a lot of things and people all around. But there is a misery quotient here, measurable in real estate woe and weather horrendosity (don't judge me) that is not only pathetic but borders on tragic.

With that, we do have a density of experience...but it was a mathematical fluke. This density was earth-formed, bounded by watery limits, infused with historical arrivals and was, basically, London's West-Pond money printer gone nuclear. It was not great men that made this place, but great chance and timing. Although, all the stories that are bandied about, on the stages, in the magazines, in the papers, verbalized on the streets, spit out a monster self-congratulations. I say, go slap a bearded hipster, sell your box, take the cash to Europa, and live in a castle. So what if the taxes will kill you. If you stayed in New York, you would have worked yourself to death anyway.

New York, you are interesting. But you're just too expensive. And for create hacks, drones, depressives, fearful shut-ins and exhausted workaholics without an ounce of creativity. Take that. And keep me entertained and busy until I go live in a castle.

I do love the geography. A lot comes together here. It must have been amazing Pre-Columbian.

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