Facebook Frenzy

Facebook is not face time.

One of my alters came out last night and started looking at the pictures of people on Facebook and I wrote comments on their walls, “Get your hand off your chin!” And, “Boy, you’re pretty…” Fake obscenities, etc.

Clearly, I am acting out.

Let’s figure out what it is.

I must be mad.

Why am I mad?

Because I want people to be how they used to be. People. Not pictures.

When I was in college, you gave your picture to the student guidebook people and they put it in a quickly published book and everyone on campus got it. It was called The Pig Book.

Why?

It was the really sweet way the men would refer to the women in the book. The men wanted to route out the pigs on campus.

Facebook is just one huge Pig Book to me.

As my good friend Bradford recently said, “It’s going to be funny, that day, when we say, ‘Remember when there was Facebook?’”

One of the joys of being young, I mean under twenty, maybe up to twenty-two, was you were really connected to your body. And you felt cool. Sure, it was just the sex talking. But nevertheless, you separated yourself from the somewhat-deadened adults by this coolness, this connectedness to your body. Adults planned and were alienated from experience. YOU were OF THE MOMENT and very much alive.

But now? Everyone, even the kids, everyone is dead, on machines.

I say, push back from the keyboard and go to the post office and help people fill out all those confusing forms. Anything.

And I’ll grow up. I won’t write on your wall, “Nice bangs, cocky duty” or worse when you post your picture. I will say a little prayer for you that you are NOT at your computer. That you ARE physically engaged with another real person.