Fun As Hell

I have been thinking about having fun lately. I don’t know what it is. Oh yes I do! It’s the weather. It is so nice out these days with cherry blossoms everywhere, you just want to scream with delight.

But instead, since screaming and being delighted are both a bit fagotz, I go on these walks to both increase the joy and dissipate it all at once. I have been attempting to write during the day instead of the vampire shift and when I am done, I reward myself with a monster walk. It feels so right.

But there is something else going on, well, two other things.

One, the economy IS getting better. This decreases anxiety. There is one way out of this economic mess and it is UP. But what about the soon-to-be expansion? I always wonder…but it is probably necessary, a reflection of the constant growth in population. But it scares me. But so what? Okay, so the economy is getting better. I will stop thinking about what that all means except for my present relief.

And I have decided something else. Two. If you are going to be a writer, you will make some big chunks of money here and there in your life with periods of time when the money is not so large. So you better calm down about it.

Calming down means you get to feel for yourself, firsthand, who you really are. And when you are doing that, you cannot help but notice the things that make you happy and so you just have to set aside time to do more of those things. For me, it is very simple: Long walks, playing music, spending time with friends, traveling and going to movies and plays. I mean, you could chuckle with how common that all is. A list like that--it sounds like I am looking for a very average date.

But then I think---there is comfort in being average. I mean, I once enjoyed watching The Preacher’s Wife on a cross country flight. Was it the Ativan? I do not know.

But happiness is underrated, and mostly by the very serious. I have decided I would rather be happy than serious. This may lower others’ opinion of me. But frankly, if I am worried about that then I am an ego-dude and that just makes me unhappy, too.

If it is not fun then it is not for me.