My Republican Friends

I have Republican friends. It’s funny!

What I like about all of them, and I do mean all of them, is they have this wry detachment about the human condition. And why not?

I mean, you might as well consider yourself separate from the crowd because humanity is, ultimately, a big frigging mess.

We all see the rare outstanding things human beings do and we applaud. Great for us! But most actions we witness are simply common. And much human discourse is nothing special, at best, or really stupid and harmful at the worst. So why not have wry detachment and say, “Fuck it! I just want to take care of my own time, my own stack of cash? Okay? Take care of the military and the roads and just leave me alone with all those other people I do not want to have anything to do with. Government, go away, I can take care of myself, and take all those needy frigging brown people with you.”

And I kind of agree. I grew up in a comfy suburb. My life has been weirdly stressful but also incredibly easy.

So I like my Republicans. They are cynical and funny and you can still make an insensitive off-color joke with them and they laugh and no one feels bad for having had a good laugh at someone else’s expense.

Cool. Sure. People are mean. But they don’t really mean it.

But I still want universal health care for all, including all illegal immigrants, fantastic free education for all, through graduate school, extreme government oversight over the markets, with, yes, a world government putting the brakes on things whenever possible.

So I am, of course, a liberal. But I still like to laugh with my harsh, hard working, humorous Republican friends. But we all know my collectivey-touchy-I-love-everyone-man idealistic soul is a rock of forever. But we all get along, my Repubs and me. It isn’t that hard.

Not to be all narcissistic, but why can’t congress do this, too? Everyone has become way too serious and combative. Does anyone laugh at themselves, the human condition, any of it anymore? I believe it is time to get friendly. Stop being so serious about your point of view. It’s only your point of view and you’re just one person and you’re not right, you’re just part of being right. It’s collective, man. But that’s my point of view. Not to button this thing up…