The Hunt--NYC

We have had our Eureka moment. It happened Friday night while eating burgers in World Wide Plaza, that democratic space filled with revelers.

We are selling the Queens apartment and moving into Manhattan. So we shall rent.

We figured, Let’s go to the new big rental towers that are swankola and see if we would like them.

Hilarious.

First, we went to Ohm. Their sales pitch is There’s No Place like Ohm.

I immediately found the place overwhelming. It was like a huge hotel with hanging sky lobbies and purple up-lighting. The apartments were kind of cool with the floor to ceiling windows that make you feel like you have lots of space. Nice kitchens. And very spare. The views were mostly of the NJ transit railway yard which is actually kind of great. But also, the Hudson River and the metropolis.

And it has a gym, etc. etc. The apartments are overpriced because you are paying for the marketing. A very well dressed, very tall, very handsome black guy showed us around. Why do some people get to be so slim?

Adam, my Recognized-by-the-State-of-California-Domestic-Partner, was very direct with the questions. I was sort of hemming and hawing and getting confused. I think it was my reaction to not wanting to live there. When it was all over, Adam pointed out that the place is marketed to Singles. It’s the Club Med of Northern Chelsea! Can you imagine living there? It was an Austin Powers joke.

Onward.

We went to another tower. 505 w 37. This one mostly had views of the feeder streets into the Lincoln Tunnel. The apartments were better than the ones at Ohm, but more expensive. But horrendously, like Ohm, only two tiny closets. Their roof deck had 360 degree views of New York City. Unreal.

The woman who showed us around wore a purple scarfy-pashmina thing, had a name that started with the letter V that I could not pronounce, was clearly from Russia and was a complete bitch. I made the leap that Russian mob money financed this tower and that this tart was guaranteed a job. I think she looked at us in our t-shirts and mall walker sneakers and found us to be grotesques. I looked at her and couldn’t believe how condescending she was. She kept taunting us saying, “And how much do you want to spend? What’s your maximum?” And then laughing at us derisively when we fell short of what she knew to be the current rents.

I wanted to throw her off a balcony.

Needless to say, we will not be living in either of these places. But it is fun to start hunting around.

Queens is so sweet. And there are so many trees. But our little apartment is too little to live in any longer. I love the non-pretention of the people here. It is a high immigrant density borough. And these people work like complete dogs and with a smile. They are true heroes on earth. And my heart is large and wide for them.

But to have to zip in and out of Manhattan on clackety-clack subways every time you have an appointment, it gets old, especially since our apartment is a solid fifteen minute walk from the subway.

So, onward!

I will occasionally write about this.