2) Get the Governator to legalize Pot. Marijuana is not a "gateway drug" any more than are Wine Coolers. Tell children about the positive qualities of pot.
3) Make sure husband signs up for more surgery. His vulnerability makes him much kinder. In fact, hobble your husband. In crusty WASPS, neediness is a great personality enhancer. Tell children that even when they are middle-aged and fat and covered in gray, hairy man boobs, it is okay to cry.
4) Make sure you stick with the once/week Pot regimen. It seems to be working. And it's so much cheaper. Pot is not addictive. Chocolate is. Stay away from the chocolate. Exercise. Eat spicy food. Call your sister. Tell the children they should always call their sister.
5) Make sure people know there is no literal God. If they resist this knowledge and try to convince you that God exists, show them your ass tags. Don't show children your ass tags.
The hardy Podocarpus. Come ye' children.
*27
2 comments:
Well, you must have good karma because I have been trying to post to my own blog for days now, and all I get are error messages. Must be because you care so much for the children.... Or sumpin'.
Great article here in NY Times today on how the MTA folks are studying LA's excellent bus transport system for tips on how to improve the NY bus system by 10%. Check it out Mr. Ecology.
Trees are good, but why not fruit trees? In addition to shade and beauty, they would feed the homeless and provide the poor with goods to sell at freeway off ramps to rich people too lazy to pick fruit themselves. LA, we are told, used to be all orange and avacado groves, and why shouldn't it be again? Why should we even have to pay for those things? Big farms are stopping us - that's why!
I tried to get my city councilman on it, I even gave it the catchy name of "Project Eden," but all I got was a thank you note, a calendar, and probably an FBI file.
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