Monday, April 04, 2005

The Salad of Jack and Rose

An Indie Recipe


The diseased heart of lettuce. Provided by Daniel Day-Lewis. Heart disease never named, just sobbed through with the same intense European tears of My Left Foot and In the Name of the Father. All angst all the time. Pick the head from the farm of misunderstood hysteria.

Pretty little Rose petals. Make sure they are young, tasty and pretty but a bit too innocent and weird to eat. Provided by Camilla Belle. Keep Rose away from Copperheads. Combination in this salad could be lethal.

Add one delightful sprig of a needy Catherine Keener. Always delicious, every time.

Add two grounded nuts, the love children of the sprig, Catherine. Provided beautifully by Ryan McDonald and Paul Dano as fat-queer and sex-beast.

And one old potato face, provided by an, "I'm not evil, but I am," Beau Bridges.

To Prepare:

Toss and mix with the sadness seeds of a failed cult, the history of a vinegar-acid trip and some touchy-feely cheese. To make sure your salad is received as it just has to be, stir in, "if you don't know what to feel, the soundtrack will tell you" sound bites.

Eat. Get nauseous on precious nature cinematography. Puke on Rebecca Miller when finished.


1 comment:

Todd HellsKitchen said...

Sounds about as appetizing as seeing the Pope's corpse on the cover of the NY Times over breakfast this morning...

In a word: Ew.