Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Pema Source

Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.

                                                Pema Chodron

Well, if you know Pema, like I don’t (but have read a book or two of hers) you will understand that she means this with love and not with any judgment.

However, let’s get into when this applies, at least, when I believe it applies. Say, every time something happens you have a certain kind of negative response that is larger than is necessary. I think it applies there until you figure out why you are overreacting. Or, if you always ___________ whenever faced with _____________ and you really do not want that second ______________. 

However, I do not believe this applies to the victimized. Like, “You will continue to be victimized until you learn to endure it better.”

The problem with aphorisms—is they are often out of context. But what we must do, because aphorism are so useful, is apply them where we believe they are useful. If we take an extreme literal stance on all sayings, like, “You create your own reality,” and find while saying this that we are living in a Concentration Camp, that is probably not the time to apply that statement.

If you begin with a loving understanding, and presume you are heading in the direction  of love for others, the self, animals, the planet, something else, so many sayings are wonderfully useful.  If you in a very dark place, sometimes you just have to get the hell out of there in a primary way before Pema can kick in.

Lastly, what we need to know is never an intellectual thing. It is always one of those I-accept-the-truth-of-these-feelings-and-where-they-come-from thing. You can never really think your way out of a state. You can temporarily distract yourself, which is great. But you have to get to the bottom of it. And usually the feelings have something to do with primary reactions to original environment that gain momentum and heft. But when we know what it is, that can be reversed.

I have seen wealthy men in the hills of LA with terror in their eyes about fear of loss.

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