Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Rolling My Eyes with The Mona Lisa

The DaVinci Code

It was like watching paint dry. Oh wait, oil paint never quite dries. Yeah, it was like watching that.

You know, I only read about five pages of the book. I couldn’t bear it. But I was looking forward to the movie. I figured, “Hell, I missed out on some big populist wag, I might as well catch the visual Cliff Notes.”

According to the attending party who I saw this thing with, all appreciative readers of the book, the movie was not clear. I thought it was a bit muddled. But I pretty much got who were the bad guys. And of course, the whole thing about the Holy Grail. How couldn't I as it was being spelled out so flat by the two professors, arguing in the most obvious way in order to get across the point of the Priory and the Opus people and the Whore Mother Mary-Jesus descendants thing. And in the end, who really gives a holy shit? This goofy movie was about as silly as that damn Blair Witch.

I hate treasure hunt stories. Especially ones with puzzles to solve. I find it all so tedious, I could just nail the son of God to a cross.

But I have one fundamental question about this whole ridiculous story. Why didn’t they just mow down that Louvre curator on his way to the market? I mean, if these Opus people are basically the mafia of the Vatican, why not just behave accordingly and whack who needs whacking in a much simpler way? And then Tom Hanks wouldn’t even have to get involved at all?

Je dois dire.

2 comments:

RebeccaW said...

I thought the book was a clever idea for a story but SO poorly written!!! I hate it when bad writers ruin a good idea. Like 'The Celestine Prophesy'. And no one recognizes the bad writing behind the good idea - so annoying.

Mr. H.K. said...

No chance I'll go see it.