The Snow is Wet

 

Rec.b.s.o.Cal.Dom.Partner

 

Russia?

 

Snow 2010

 

The List of Blizzard '10

Everyone likes Pigs in a Blanket, no matter what the season.

It is 4:04 AM in Queens, NY. It is snowing. Hardly anything viscious.

I sometimes get jealous of others. Jealousy is really just a lack of confidence.

I think Earl Grey tea might be a little too floral for me these days.

I finished, yes, the first draft of my screenplay, tonight, about ten minutes ago.

A lot of people make puns. I live by them.

The rich of the world love to help Africa. I don’t blame them. But isn’t it weird to have this American culture where people are always, “Pull your own self up by your own boot straps, son,” yet, when they look at Africa, it’s all, “We have to help these people—aid, aid, aid?” They do need help and I’m all for helping. However, to have this rich country play around with one set of rules within its borders—a very Calvinist affair-- only to then play with completely other rules in a bunch of other countries---a very Catholic or Communist affair, isn’t it just so bifurcated and weird? I think there must be a third way---where we accept that everyone on earth suffers---some to a greater degree, obviously---but the idea to me would be to get super collective around the whole planet. The idea of someone getting very rich in our country so he can go play God in another one sort of turns my stomach.

Cucumbers are so unique. I think they must have a lot of alkaline qualities.

I would love to lose 15 pounds.

I hear a salt truck going by.

Why are ducks so funny?

We are all together---one organism---in some weird way. Don’t you feel it?

My screenplay is at least 30 pages too long. Editing is fun, though.

It is so important to work at something. That could mean working at not working at all.

I bet I would be good with embroidery. But there’s no need for the finished product in my life.

I miss California---it’s decadent and filled with goofy cool nuts. Work and time, there, are elastic. I like it like that.

I did not get the H1N1 vaccination simply because I did not get around to it.

Unemployment is decreasing, I keep telling you.

So many relatives that I really loved are so fucking dead.

I cannot control almost anything.

Discipline is great, when it is practiced. But upon considering it, it reminds me of mortality, how you have to put yourself (an animal) into a groove in order for it to thrive.

I have so much to read. But what I really want to do is dance.

I drink cheap wine. I have stained teeth.

I have many friends. Most of them are happy. I hope this is a reflection on me.

I have been through at least eight hard drives in my life.

I can sleep anywhere.

I fear for Obama. He better start wishing for some good luck. What the world needs now is luck sweet luck.

Gays are so ’07.

Sarah Palin is hilarious. Let’s keep her around, just not in any position of governance.

Good appliances really do make a difference. Drat.

I believe in ever lasting life---for things that live forever.

This blog entry, and others like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Who's Crying Now ?

It is 5:48 AM, E.S.T.

But I’m not crying!

I finished every scene but the very last one of my screenplay.

This long night has pretty much been emotionally neutral. You know how the end of movies everything has to come together? The characters, certainly the plot, the theme, you name it? All the loose ends have to collide in a satisfying way (that might even be surprising). So, when you are writing the end, you have to keep your brain scanning all these components (and your treatment) to make sure they land on the page.

It’s just work. Kind of like being an air traffic controller. Except you can get up and nuke your tea as often as you need to, see what your friends are up to on Facebook, surf around the web, sometimes you might even check out the porn. I mean, you kind of deserve it.

Writing is not glamorous.

I feel like I had a day’s (night’s) work. Which feels very sober and good.

It helps to spend an enormous amount of time with friends, so when you are alone for long periods of time, it doesn’t feel so freaky. In fact, you look forward to it.

Dry eyes. Sun soon.

Here He Goes Again

A convergence, a necessary step, the whole thing is happening:
Looks like gay people are going to have their day(s).

Between the military finally saying, “Aw, hell, just be yourselves,” and the court case in California that is surely going to fall on the side of, “Aw, hell, just be yourselves and get married,” I believe, finally, gay people will finally have their day. And it will be no big deal.

The silly squeamish are all getting old and are losing the fight. Plus, they have all this tea party stuff to attend to.

I wanted it all to go down in a certain order (as things are presented to me). I get stuck on things. I would rather we get the health care first, the gay care second. But if it is gay care first, well…so be it!

These are trying times.

More good news. Unemployment rates are decreasing. Okay, only by .3%, but that is better than increasing by .3%.

And now:

A note to Obama: We’ve already had our Jimmy Carter years. Rock it hard, baby.

People Are Greedy Lunatic Pigs

There is no other answer. And it is infectious. (No wonder Zombie movies do so well.)

Somehow, our grabby gene is really big.

Georgie W. really wanted all that oil under Iraq. He wanted it so bad. His friends wanted it. Dick Cheney demanded it. What a greedy push.

Corporations, in an effort to max-max-maximize their profits (okay, I know, that’s what they’re supposed to do)---hired the cheapest employees they could find, sending the customer service and manufacturing jobs far, far away.

Any loose cash that was left was Hoovered up the chain of command.

And now---look at us.

I say lunatic, because it is a madness. Anyone with any sense of math knew this setup-mess was unsustainable. Why did we let it happen? Because we are greedy, lunatic pigs.

We are not to be condemned for our avaricious, insane, porcine ways. We are to be forgiven. But we also have to learn how we went wrong. With a cold eye and a warm heart.
(And a flat nose and a curly tail).

Let's Talk About Gays in the Military

There are gays in the military. Have you noticed?

And what’s the problem?

Apparently, none.

It was all homophobia.

And the younger you are, the harder you don’t care about any of it.

Time heals everything. Until, of course, the grand explosion. But we’ll be a digitally based or gamma ray species by then—

Of course, after the grand explosion of our sun, time will pass and there could eventually be the super-cooling-condensing that is the reverse of the Big Bang, to even things out, cosmically (which only makes sense—Jungian duality commands it)---but by then, maybe we will have become a species that can withstand condensing and then the inevitable see-saw neo-Big Bang explosion.

Or we won’t exist at all, soon enough, and there will have been a huge series of species that will have replaced us in unimaginable ways. And so time did heal everything, or something.

And there are gays in the military. Ho-hum?

Let ‘em breathe. Out loud.

Someone’s gotta translate all that Arabic between now and what will be.

First Drafts Are Disgusting

So here I am in New York doing a sort of reverse Barton Fink. As some of you readers know, I showed up here and about seven months ago had a reading of a play of mine at The Public Theatre with Meryl Streep and her kids. It was a fine time and the play is heading toward a real NY production…(Stop asking me when and where—as soon as it is set, you’ll know! And it isn’t with Meryl Streep.) Okay, you’re all caught up. But on the side, these movie people, yes, NY has some movie people, well these movie people who have made a bunch of movies, one of them is a movie that you’ve all seen—okay, why be coy. It’s called ELF and it starred Will Ferrell. So, they asked me to come in to pitch some movie ideas. Being someone with lots of ideas and being someone who is highly organized and has all those ideas in folders, I went in with my list of 26 movies, pitched 8 of them and they liked the one best that I liked best (which was, of course, also the one most thought out)—and so they said, “We’ll take it!” Which means, I am writing it. And if all goes well, they will sell it to one of their big ol’ Hollywood studios, make it, it does as well as ELF, I buy a big apartment in NYC and return to LA and buy a dog. Maybe a trip to Costa Rica. Or Greece.

Okay, that’s the easy stuff, the stuff you tell your mother, the stuff I usually don’t blog about much because it’s sort of like an accountant blogging about the day’s P & L’s and Balance Sheets. (Writer’s lives are so boring. I mean, even if you speed it up on tape---it just looks like a hunchback at a keyboard who keeps getting up to nuke his herbal tea.)

Okay---so then there’s the treatment. Which was actually completely fun to write. Lots of ideas. I have lots of ideas…so building a big sheet with big empty blocks and filling them in is easy for me. When people ask me, incredulously, sort of thinking-they-can-do-it-too-and-kind-of-want-to-if-only-they-knew-how “How do you come up with those ideas? What do you do when you sit to write?” My honest answer should be, “You just have to be one of those people who is loaded with ideas, if you are not, then don’t write. If you must, then pick one topic you are interested in, do a lot of research about it, take notes and write a nonfiction book. Make it about the natural history of warts, Malaysia or a really great cult leader.”

Okay—so the treatment is easy. Notes, notes, notes from the company. Wonderful guys. I love them. Best people I’ve run into ever when it comes to movies-TV-etc. Truly. Okay, so I have this great treatment, fine tooth combed. Needed one little plot tweak, we fixed that.

And then---then---then---“Now go and write it.”

Friends, I am almost done with the first draft. And it is a big, fat, sloppy, overwritten, pig pile! But I love it and I am glad that I barreled on and didn’t stop to fix the first 70 pages before I went on to write the next 70. I know, I know—140 page screen play? Okay, not quite that long. But almost. I’ll cut it. I swear!

But it’s been fun. I only cried four or ten different times---and that was only because I was wretchedly lonely. Watching a grown man cry is hilarious. I run to the mirror to see it when it happens. I look like an old Italian woman at her son’s funeral. My face crinkles up—and my eyes, fleshy pig-slits that they are now, fill up with tears but they don’t even run down my face---they just fill up my loose eye ball area with water and I just get really wet from the nose up. I don’t look like a movie star when I cry. I look like a very old, tired monster, surrounded by pink tile, I repeat, fleshy, and just sort of wet.

So then, I decided to solve my writing problem. I realized, “Hey, lunatic…get out of the apartment, see people.”

So, I have been making more plans and that is helping enormously. I am completely normal, or close to it, when I am outside with humanity. In fact, one might say I am decent company. I talk a lot, but I listen (I think) more than I talk. And I rather not control the subject matter (I think).

First drafts are monsters. I’d like to say you birth them out your ass—but that would be too pleasurable compared to what it really feels like—maybe a burning pepper through the sinuses or glassy vinegar pushed through the pores of your inner thighs.

You are not graceful during a first draft. You get really greasy. You certainly don’t get your hair cut. You do a lot of Google map searches and your friends (who thank goodness are generous with your personality tics) receive long emails about almost nothing--in detail.

And, of course, these long blog entries---to cleanse the palate.

Good luck with your first draft, if you are writing one. If you are editing—baby, you’re on vacation.

This blog entry, and others like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

The Big Fight Is Expensive

The two party system is a football game. Americans love their sports more than anything else. More than religion. More than money. Americans are lovers of the fight.

Our “land of opportunity” has chosen for simple minded people. “I could stay here in this horrible country or I could go to Americay.”

You had to be the kind of person who could simplify your life into those terms to get to these great shores. The rest who were left behind, they had a more grayish world view, “Well, I could starve to death here, and I might be murdered for believing in my weird bird-God, but I like the trees, the kids like it here, too, and well, I don’t know, what do you think, Mary?”

And thus---a decision was not made because there were too many variables, and well, why the hell just not decide? Gray.

But those of our ancestors who did decide (and granted, we all know some were brought here against their will. Sorry.)---but those who did decide, they must have been ever so slightly more black and white in their thinking.

And now we have a two party system. And it is awfully annoying.

So while Obama has to have a televised therapy session with the ReStubborncans, China is taking over the wind turbine industry, the sun cell industry, you name the industry.

China is, I think we can agree, a very old country. And though they are technically still Communist (I guess?), there is a long history of being a whole lot of other things: Confucius followers, subjugated citizens of foreigners, subjugators of others, grand inventors, a monarchy, traders, isolationists, you name it.

But---they did figure something out over time---more-than-one-party-systems are a big pain in the ass. So why not make it one party and get shit done?!

As a Chinese woman who leads cultural tours of China that I met in Ferndale, CA once said to me, “The U.S. and China are the same! We are the same! We are both very practical and we both like to make money!”

I think the U.S. likes to fight more than it likes to make money.

Not that money is everything…but certainly, getting done what needs to be done IS everything, which often leads to money.

I like the multi-party runoff systems in many parliamentary countries. I have often thought I could live in France. But there is a humor and music problem there.

The United States is falling behind because people here are very black and white in their thinking, very entrenched, like to fight and are not nimble.
This blog entry, and others like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Simple Blog

Please. Download Tina Turner EDITH AND THE KINGPIN—Herbie Hancock.


That’s it.

Screening Party

My friend and fellow DIY person (and so much more) has an arch, understated approach to all things with a no-sacred-cows eye on pop culture. He has launched his television pilot on YouTube and it is faboola.

I bring you Dennis Hensley’s SCREENING PARTY

Add wonderful comments when you’re done. There are four parts. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show! (And if your cousin is in the TV business, have her(im) watch it, too.)

Call Me Creepy

One of the screaming points of those on the “right” who oppose gay marriage is:

“I don’t want my child to come home and say to me, ‘When I grow up, I can marry Johnny or Susie.’”

Okay, that would be strange. But would it be, really?

Two parts here.

First of all, when I was a kid, I remember this boy down the street who said, MORE THAN ONCE, “Back when I was a little girl…” He had this idea that when he was a baby he was a girl, and at present, he had become a boy. He was very much a wild little boy. This might seem off topic. But I bring it up to point out that kids are very loose about boys, girls, etc. And then, for most kids, they get to that age when their sex is extremely defining for them. So, there is a trajectory and it isn’t neat. Later on, when I was about eleven, all the boys, and I mean all of them, were messing around with each other sexually. And I hear that lots of the girls were, too. And in college? Well, you can imagine those elite campuses filled with all those bi-curious devil worshippers! Even in the eighties! (Especially in New England).

Okay, but to the second part and the part that is really the part that might make me sound creepy, but here I go. Would it be SO WRONG if kids did end up having this idea that they could marry anyone at all? I mean, I know it would be drastically culturally different. But could this whole thing that is happening be some sort of collective Mother Nature way of population control? And now we are finally getting around to recognizing how natural and evolutionary it all is and therefore approaching legalizing recognized marriages between same sexes at a federal level? And if not that (because you simply cannot prove this, even though certain sea turtles and many fish and worms will change sex if there is not enough of the opposite sex around…and it happens uniformly, by exact ratios or by convenience, depending on the species)—well, would it not be simply fine?

People get used to seeing certain things. Once people get used to seeing lots and lots of same sex couples around, won’t it just be a big ol’ ho-hum, get moving, Cracker Barrel is having an early bird special?

If children are led, even made to believe that a future of sex and marriage with anyone is possible, well, so what? The worse that could happen is we end up with less children, overall. And that is not a problem. That is a big win.

The real problem is this: How do you keep an economy strong with a population that is shrinking? Easy---it is done all the time. Poke around the internet.

Call me creepy, but I think kids might as well have the choice and might as well talk about it, because, really, this is how it is heading.

Kids will be different. Kids always are. The world is complicated and we don’t exactly understand the planet or where it will bring us. But trying to keep things as they have always been? It has NEVER stayed the same. EVER.

(And for the record---every liberal person I know could care less if their child married someone of the same sex. They really mean it. This infection is forever. Just love it. You know Jesus does.)

Call me creepy. And then, just relax.

This blog entry, and others like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Greetings from the Natl Aquarium, Balmer

The Reef

The Jellies

The Blind Side

Okay, we saw it. Thanks, screener people.

The Blind Side

Look, say what you want about Republicans, Christianity, etc., that Sandra Bullock can act.

We cried and shit.

When you do the generous thing, that’s it—it’s existentially right. It’s goodness.

And, it’s cheesy. But so what? If I saw it on a plane, I would have liked it even more.

Sometimes, you give over to your inner mall self, and you just say, “Okay, fine, I’ll go with it.”

I’m not Susan Sontag, so I’ll just give this one a pass.

Health Care Got You Down? Change Your Focus!

I Was Concerned

Okay, look, I wanted Hillary. I've said it before, I'm saying it now.

This is the deal with President Obama, in my humble opinion: the dude is ALL over the place! Sure, he's smart...but get some shit DONE.

One thing I like about Republicans (and I even admired it in Lunatic GW) is that they take action. Sure---it could be wrong. Sure, it WAS wrong. But, there wasn't all this dithering.

Now, I think there should be some dithering. And this is why I am a moderate Democrat. But at some point, stop the fucking dithering and finish it up!

I only say this because I think Obama could have gotten in there with the health care thing, sooner, with a big sack of black nuts, and said,"Dudes, we are finishing this by January 15 'cause there's a special election a-brewin' in Massachusetts."

I mean, there's always a clock ticking. Always. You don't have the luxury of playing around forever, making sure everyone likes you, while the Huns are looking to replace a solidly Democratic chair with a Republican one.

To my Republican friends---look, you are apples to my oranges...and I don't fully understand your world view. But I do understand your disgust with mamby-pamby liberals. I share that disgust. Obama--put down that neatly wrapped bunch of arugula and finish up this job, pronto.

Worse case scenario, I guess I can go sign up at Kaiser. I mean, they yanked out my appendix for ten bucks back in '98. And I lived. And no scarring. But damn! There aren't good Kasiers all over the country. And there should be...or something, or, I don't know, or Haiti, or climate change, or wars in two countries, or a surprise 46 year old birthday party, or here-come-the-gays-to-the-supreme-court for their equality.

Oh Obama---don't be a Carter redo. I can’t stand the thought of a Reagan redo.

Trial

Gays on Trial!

I am really wondering how it is going to turn out.

Do weigh in. When it goes to the Supreme Court, what do you think will happen?

I have fear.

Next Time---Less Shit Sherlock

We got in the car, drove to Astoria and went to a plex and saw Sherlock Holmes.

It was a cartoon. It was sort of silly, all the martial arts type movie fighting. Whatever. Boys. Funny, though, you have this somewhat soft story between Holmes and Watson and then all this fight stuff for those who need excitement-by-destruction. Some people say the relationship between Holmes and Watson is sort of gay. I don’t know. Seems like a lot of guys I knew in their twenties who were simply upset that their best friend was getting married, leaving the single guy behind.

All the clues clues clues throughout the movie…but that’s all it was, an accretion. Which I hear is how the books are. Then, at the end, Holmes wraps it all up. There is no chance that you can figure it out while you watch it because you don’t get any insight into what Holmes is thinking. You just get to see what he is seeing. Then, the big reveal. So, time passes and you just don’t think. You observe. It is all very passive and you do not get invited in, until the unneeded fighting, and even that, well, what is that?

So to not spoil anything, there is this evil guy who thinks he is the next coming of the Anti-Christ. The whole British Empire is what he wants. Power hungry. Masons kind of thing. Annoying. But the physical world is what Holmes is all about. And so is the movie, in its execution and then, philosophically.

Fights, mayhem, etc.

Looks like Guy Ritchie simply went, “Sure, I’ll take the big paycheck. Let’s make this thing.” It was certainly beautiful. Robert Downey Jr. was fantastic, as always. Jude Law kept up.

I was bored.

This blog entry, and more like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Myers-Briggs Time

Oh Come ON! Every five years or so, isn’t it fun to take The Myers-Briggs Personality Test?

It’s free. Just over 70 questions, yes or no. Just jump in and do it. It’s better than some silly Cosmo Quiz. (And, yes, dahlings, you are pleasuring your man correctly.)

No matter how many times you take this test, the results are almost always the same. I’ve been an ENFP since day one. Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiver. (The exact opposite would be Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging). I once read a funny chat about a woman who was dating “According to Myers-Briggs scores-compatibility.” She said she really didn’t like dating ENFP men (teachers-writers-counselors-film producers) because they are always crying!

But of course, what this is all about is figuring out what you should DO with your life…which I kind of know already. They use this test to help people figure out their careers. But affirmation is enjoyable. As is procrastinating.

Enjoy yourself. You might as well. Be honest. See what famous people have your same type. Read about your type in depth. It’s all free. It’s better than horoscopes. It’s self indulgent. But what the fuck! You’re an American. That’s how you roll.

Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Let me know your results. I bet I can guess.

More info at wikipedia

Hell Hole Haiti

There are some places that are so awful, and so nearby, you feel like the best thing to do is just let the entire nation in.

I say, give most of Nevada to the Haitians. I’ll go for a couple of years and help them with English and bookkeeping.

Anything.

How can these people endure so much?

Whenever you read about Haiti, you just think, “Can there really not be a speck of wood anywhere? Is it truly all mud slides and Hurricanes (and now earthquakes) with, get ready, 60% unemployment? How can this be?”

What a fucking mess.

Back in the day, I was a short order cook and I worked with all these fabulous Haitian women. I got to practice my French and they got to wash dishes. They were so funny and alive. I mean, those indomitable spirits! I imagine the whole country of Haiti is filled with such spirit. Of course, my sample in Mahwah, New Jersey was too small to extrapolate from.

But now that my memory is kicking in, there was also the garage sale in Ramsey, New Jersey, back in the 90’s, when a huge van pulled up and twelve amazing faces jumped out and my mother said to me, “Keep your eye on those Haitians.”

And she was right. After the twelve of them jumped back into the van, we noticed at least ten things were stolen. Ah, well, garage sale crap. Let the Haitians have it.

What a failed nation. Haiti makes West Virginia look like Bel Air.

Poor place. You know, it’s so random. Enslave people, free them, disenfranchise them, leave them with nothing, abandon them when they get too surly, on a small piece of land, and you just get misery. Okay, it is not so random. It is math. But for the people who live there, it was a random experience to be born there.

Cruel.

Love waves to Haiti. And a boatload of penicillin.


This blog entry, and more like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

The Fourteenth Amendment, Section 1

Section. 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.


You know what? I think we devil-bent gays could really win this one. We are federaled up.

Look at the last sentence. How can any judge read this and say, “Yeah, but not for the gays.”

This is our Roe v. Wade. I love that it’s called Perry v. Schwarzenegger. How can you get upset about gay marriage when anytime you say Perry v. Schwarzenegger you kind of giggle?

This landmark case will get kicked up to the Supreme Court. And one does think it could pass 5-4 and this moronia will be over from sea to shining sea.

Until then, I remain,

Adam’s Recognized-by-the-State-of-California-Domestic-Partner: Separate, unequal, but living like married folk anyway.

(And yes—you can tell a second grader about a prince marrying a prince. But only tell them that about 1 out of every 120 times you are talking about princes. With princesses, well, you can tell them that princesses always go through a princess-on-princess stage: during or after a bad hetero marriage, while at Vassar or Smith, or any other time she damn well feels like it. Marry on, sisters.)

This blog entry, and more like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Foxy

Another Great Reason to NOT watch Fox News.



Some faves:

1. "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." --Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008

2. "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil." –-Sarah Palin, in a message posted on Facebook about Obama's health care plan, Aug. 7, 2009

3. "All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years." --Sarah Palin, unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

4. "Well, let's see. There's ― of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ―" --Sarah Palin, unable to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

5. "We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ... We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation." --Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in Greensoboro, N.C., Oct. 16, 2008

6. "[T]hey're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." --Sarah Palin, getting the vice president’s constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado, Oct. 21, 2008

7. "Who calls a shot like that? Who makes a decision like that? It's a disturbing trend." –Sarah Palin, pushing a conspiracy theory that "In God We Trust" had been moved to the edge of coins by the Obama administration (the change was made by the Bush administration in 2007 and was later reversed by Congress, before Obama took office), West Allis, Wisconsin, Nov. 6, 2009

8. "Ohh, good, thank you, yes." --Sarah Palin, after a notorious Canadian prank caller complimented her on the documentary about her life, Hustler's "Nailin Palin," Nov. 1, 2008

9. "They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan." --Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in San Francisco, Oct. 5, 2008

10. "I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out." --Sarah Palin, referring to a department that does not exist while attempting to explain why as president she wouldn't be subjected to the same ethics investigations that compelled her to resign as governor of Alaska, ABC News interview, July 7, 2009


Thank you Daniel Kurtzman for these quotes.

Sell it: Renewables

Obama is doing what he said he would do.

I am thrilled that he got behind the health care thing, even though it is going to be quite imperfect.

And he is juggling the wars.

Hugely and beautifully, he is also having the government invest in the development in renewable energy. Something else he said he would do.

But there is one thing he is not doing. He is not getting people working. Of course, he did not say he would.

But my optimism is the renewable energy stimulus will BE the job stimulus. We have so much to do. And as Washington D.C. jumpstarts this new economy, so goes the whole country. As we all know, we are way behind Europe, China and Japan is this area.

I want to say it loud! Obama, RENEW US!

(And fifty years from now, the Republicans will be shouting, “YUZE NOT TAKIN’ ‘WAY our RENEWABLE MONEY.”)

It is happening now. It must. A new society. Based on providing energy for ourselves. And we can get the hell out of the Middle East. Right?

I am saying nothing new here.

Okay, and this is the shadow side. My fear. Obama will not get passionate enough to sell this through. The dude needs to lead us on this. He is, sadly, like me. I have an idea and I think, “Shit. This is so obvious. Of course everyone is going to jump on board. It’s logical.”

But people are not logical. And I have brain-narcissism.

So Obama---do us all a favor. Come forth and sell this. Sell it hard. Make people KNOW that this is the future. The job future. The investment future. The economic future. The peace future. You must sell it. Sell. Sell. Sell.

Schwarzrenegger

He get all soft at the end there?

You know, there is something disgusting about the California prison system. I’ve never been to prison, but it always seemed likely I could have landed there.

There are far more prisons than Andersen’s Pea Soups, and I’ve been to some of those. So math would suggest that prison would not be far behind for me.

It is sweet that the Governator wants to divert money away from prisons into higher education. But this makes no sense. The money should be diverted to EARLY education. Most of the kids who make it to higher education, well, they are not the ones who usually end up in prison.

These little kids, come on!

Give them a hand!

Send the money to the elementary schools.

I do not understand prison. If I did something terrible, that landed me in the pokey, I do not see how on earth that would change anything.

Seems to me that each person who commits a crime needs to be attended to, 24-7, by a team of personality re-shapers (which would include education). Soon, too, maybe a little DNA tinkering. I mean, just a bit. Hell, I wouldn’t mind a little DNA tinkering myself.

The Orangutan and the Hound

Thank you, Annie.

This, fresh in. It makes me believe in mammals.

I love them. Click here. You'll have a great time. It fills you full of love.

The Orangutan and the Hound

Dropping the Romance

Can you believe they’re gone?



I can.

I mean, come on, they were slow and tired! My cousin put this photo on her Facebook page. These suckers ran all over Los Angeles back in the day. This photo is from the 1950’s. I mean, it’s no wonder they pulled them out.

But—friends in the West. You need something. Start digging.

Feeling of Newslessness

Friends, doesn’t it all feel a bit repetitive out there?

Funny, you open the paper and there is not much new. Health Care gets hammered out forever. Terrorist are terrorizing. People kill people and then they go on trial.

Etcetera.

You kind of want something to blow. But you want its largeness to be a good largeness.

Something wonderful and really, really new. Could happen.

It really could happen.

I have been blogging for almost five years. Absurd, really.

I was resistant at first. I thought, “Come on? Blog? Don’t I have enough Hambone going on in my life?”

It has been a good way to write every day. Truly. Keeps you tingling along.

If only I could run into some news.

Okay---here is some news. It is cold outside. At first, I thought this was a terrible thing. Having lived in Southern California for a long time, with its easy, warm-cool air, the Northeast felt aggressively inhospitable. But you get used to the weather. And then, it just seems natural. Maybe I could get used to Barrow, Alaska. (Hi Mary.)

Okay, that is not news. That’s just weather talk. See? There is no news.

Something big will happen soon. People want it. So we will create it.

May your 1-5-10 lurch you toward newness.

This blog entry, and more like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

A Single Man, A New Decade

It is a time pressured situation, but it is good to jump into something if you have the time and are so inclined.

First, quickly buy Christopher Isherwood’s A Single Man, the Novel and read it in one sitting. It is short. You can do it. Let it live in you for a couple of days. Then, go see A Single Man, the Movie.

If that’s a ridiculous idea, after all, a new decade has begun and there is shit to do, then just go see A Single Man, the Movie. It is lush while always remaining brown and cream. It is so well done, you kind of cannot believe it.

Tom Ford, who knew?

Julianne Moore was wise to do this movie. It establishes her as an almost-comic-actress. She has a blast. And her hair is art.

One of my favorite novels, I must say. It is gay, written by Mr. Gay himself, all in the Santa Monica Canyon, all Britishy and romantic and ex-pat and sad and dramatic and literate and funny and brilliant with a light touch and an amazing eye. Yeah, it is.

Read it.

But see the movie, too, before, if you do not have the time to read, or after, if you do. The movie design stuff is beyond. And Colin Firth gets it exactly right.

There is some story jiggering for the sake of the movie. I do not agree with it. But, one must let it go.

Rarely such a good gay movie hits the screen. You know how they can get—all mawkish. Well, this one has its mawk, but it is held in a good place.

Oscary.

Welcome to the teens. The gay decade.
And
Goodbye Yemen. A Retreat from Allah-land.
Gimme Health.
Moderate-ism in ascendance.
Race is over.
Bad employment numbers.
People losing their houses.
Greatest income gap between rich and poor since the ‘20’s.

Overpopulation.
Too much violence.
Technology has replaced face-to-face contact.
Fat people.
Some government stabilization, but still, plenty of pain.
Food. People are obsessed with food preparation.
Americans are as split as ever. But each half is enjoying living in its portion of consciousness. Maybe best to leave it?
Smart people figuring out the earth.
Mix the world up. Mix it up.

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Releasing the Aughts

So many people are ready for not only a new year, but for a new decade.

Let’s do it.

A new decade without a Bush or a Cheney, without stolen elections, without the trauma of a terrorist attack on New York City, without the horror of Katrina, without the stupidity of greed. Goodbye, that.

I, personally, am releasing fear and worry, along with the aughts.

Have a lovely time, these last few days of the first decade of the new millennium. And then release the whole mess.

On a much more positive note, there were so many great things that happened in the aughts---and those things, personal and professional, well, they’ve been built upon and they are still with me. That’s the good thing about good things. They seem to stay and grow.

And now, time for lightness and love and ease. And some money.

See you in 2010.

Avatar--It's time.

Avatar.

This film was made for you and me. War movie, for tree huggers.

Okay, listen, this is not an original story, but it is timely. This particular fable works. The hero goes native and finds out what real truth and real love is. Plus, there is the whole tree of knowledge thing going on and the aboriginals completely in tune with their planet because they are their planet. And they send those greedy gusses back to Earth, the “Sky People” who came looking to mine the planet’s unobtainium—It’s an environmental flick. With war. Some of it is so on-the-nose Anti George Bush, you wince. But then I imagined Cameron saying, “I don’t think people are that smart. I’m just going to serve it straight up.” Sure, why not?

We must respect mother earth.

Performances were fine. Characters broad. Sigourney pounding through it. Whatever. It is not about that.

What they have been saying, what every journalist has been saying is true. This is 3D in a way that finally works and this is a whole new experience. You watch this movie with the special glasses and it really is a three dimensional experience. At first it might nauseate you, but then you get used to it. (Maybe similar to how people first felt when they began taking commercial flights.)

It is so beautiful. It’s generated, yes, the other world. All of it. But the expressions are human. Culled performances from real actors. They are only going to get better at this technology. Then one day, Glenn Close can just act in front of a camera in her living room and they will capture it for the computer Glenn later on.

Strange stuff. But now, the movie industry can explode again. You can’t watch this 3D stuff at home. Well, maybe they will make it so you can. But for now, the best chance of having a good 3D experience is to go to a big ol’ timey movie theatre.

Sure, you could get all upset about this latest trend. Change is tough. But we can handle it.

Back to Avatar. Hats off to all. You just have to go see it. It’s history. It replaces Star Wars. It’s a big turn in the road. Go. It’s just one-of-those-things in life you have to see to stay current. But out of all those one-of-those-things, this one is something else.

Avatar.

This blog entry, and more like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

 

Some Christmas Ham

Christmas is here. Who doesn’t feel a little insane and vulnerable? A blizzard up the coast. Bank accounts echoing that hollow sound. Health care hanging on like a precarious ornament, hooked at the tip of a bough, waiting to be pushed closer to the trunk of the tree. Unemployment in the double digits. Divorce rates surging. Depression, anxiety, and all these war movies! ENOUGH!

And it is even harder for those who have sensitive constitutions.

(Side note: My tombstone is going to read: MY SINUSES NEVER FELT BETTER!)

What remains, always, is the human spirit. Though it may not be perfect, in fact, since it is completely imperfect (and often given over to addiction, need, self destruction and showiness), I give you, well, Judy. Let her take on all your fears and tribulations. Why not? She’s already dead and she can’t feel a thing.

So, put down that fifth of whiskey, stop your worrying, for at least three minutes, and give it up for some Christmas-Judy-toward-the-end. (Thanks, Jeff.) You know you’re way better off than she was, even though she was way more talented than you. Be grateful.

Merry Krissmax.

2010 is your year.

Yours in all,
Don

Honestly? It Was About Eight Inches

 

Strike-Boycott-Call it What You Will

Let’s go on Strike.

People are outraged. I am outraged about the healthcare plan because, let’s face it, without any sort of government plan, what on earth is going to keep insurance companies from ratcheting up their premiums? Nothing.

For profit means for profit.

I do not see how a company that is for profit is going to make anything better for us, at all.

I say we thumb our noses at the Insurance State of Connecticut and strike. We can stop paying our premiums, ask our employers to pull us out of their plan, throw our COBRAS to the Mongooses. You get enough people who refuse to be a part of this mess, say a cool 20 million, the system will collapse.

And collapsing this current system is the way to go.

40 Million people do not have healthcare right now. If we can get that number up to 60 million or even better, 100 million, the healthcare economy will surely collapse.

In all good conscience, I would not ask anyone with dire health problems to drop their medical insurance, but everyone else? Drop it. Get out. WE the PEOPLE can simply speak by not handing over our dollars.

Why let these companies take us hostage?

Let’s collapse it.

Not Much Fanfare

And maybe that’s a good thing.

They passed a law in the city of Washington D.C. (for those of you who do not know, that is the capitol of the United States), that allows gay couples to get married.

Cool.

The big take on it is, “First place south of the Mason-Dixon Line that allows gay marriage.”

That’s the spin?

How about, IT’S THE FUCKING CAPITOL?

But this is why maybe this is a good thing. The federal government will get used to seeing Bruce and Steve married, Heather and Theresa, married. And, with the health care shenanigans still going on, well, clearly, we have such huge fish to fry.

The Conservatives hate change…but they do not have an endless supply of fight in them. By the time I’m walking around with a cane, there will be nationwide gay marriage, everywhere except for maybe Utah and South Carolina.

And when Utah and South Carolina finally accept it (by the Feds, I am sure), there will be very little fanfare and all this stupidity will have been a waste of time.

Such an endless fight to gain rights.

As Tina Turner once sang, “I don’t wanna fight no more.”

This blog entry, and more like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Shall I Head to Connecticut with My Wood Chipper?

Joe Lieberman is hard to stomach. I do wish he would disappear.

Of course, it is easy to get riled up by one man. One does want to direct one’s frustration toward a scapegoat. I will take personal responsibility for my dark feelings. It is easier to hate Joe than it is to face my own healthcare disappointments.

I will not go to Connecticut to chip Joe. I will have to suck it up. That’s what Joe wants.

Should they call his bluff? Is there not any other senator they can find to get that 60th vote?

Joe—wipe off that smirk.

This blog entry, and more like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Up in the Air On the Fence

We saw it. Up in the Air.

Times Square.

Got in on that good WGA free pass.

This is the thing. It is to be applauded because they made a movie about adults. What it is to be certain kinds of adults.

But it is to be booed a bit because, well, it is dullish. Or should I say Dulles?

Friends, George Clooney as Ryan Bingham is the guy, you know, the guy who can’t commit. And when he finally learns it’s a good thing to get close to someone (through some of the most obvious sequences in recent cinematic history), well, why do it?

Why do this movie?

I do not know.

The sad backdrop of people being fired—sad. Strange, though, you do become accustomed to experiencing them as the set pieces that they are. Maybe that is the point?

Alienated guy causing misery as he goes by.

Anyway, nothing really new here. Which is fine. But nothing much new in execution, either. Which is fine. But nothing much new in character or dialogue. Which is fine. And… I have run out of Which is fines.

You want to like this movie. You do. You just want to. Because it’s George and all. Vera Farmiga as the gorgeous emotionally empty equitable counterpart and Anna Kendrick as the young one with a thing or two to learn/teach, are both wonderful. Jason Bateman, always a good sleeze. Amy Morton and Melanie Lynskey are fabulous sisters of Ryan Bingham, great actors. You want to love this movie for the actors. You do. I love the actors. I want to yell Bravo to them all. Smart, on performances.

But, I have to say, I saw it all coming at me, like a Boeing 727 into a hoary hay bale.


This blog entry, and more like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Put Upon Paula

Let’s not be Put-Upon-Paulas this year.

Sure, there’s the feeling, “The economy is getting better. I’ve been denying myself and everyone else for far too long. Let’s buy some shit for Christmas!”

Really, you don’t need any of it.

Maybe the underwear. Maybe the frying pan.

Maybe the new dog collar if the old one is completely greasy and frayed.

Why fill that Target basket with all that shiny plastic?

How about just some modeling clay and a bit of yarn? Enough.

I love Christmas mostly because I do not like the sun. Long, dark days are cozy days.

Let’s sit, our hands empty, our tree with its minimal, wonderful items stuffed under its branches and watch the sun go down at 4:15 and hark, “Now I can see!”

Precious and Sinus

With the success of the novel, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which, for those of you who don’t know, is a mashup of Jane Austen’s P&P with a Zombie story, I thought it might be time to review Precious (thank you WGA screeners) with an interspersed, detailing of my sinus suffering.

Precious, based on the novel, Push, by Sapphire is a great movie, if you like pain, and I do. I can tolerate a great deal of pain. It is only when I am not in pain that I become neurotic, thus, looking for pain at every turn, or at least excitement.

This past week in Los Angeles, which was for the celebration of our good friends who are now, in their mid-forties, pregnant with twins, afforded us ample opportunity to stay in the houses of friends. Cats. Pillows with dust mites. Packs of Camel Wides. Various garden variety drugs used to induce a festive feeling. Pressure changes. Jet trips. And improper eating. These, combined with my propensities, led to infection. Allergy sufferers really should not leave the house.

Precious had to leave her house. Her father was fucking her. (Though, he had already left the house). Her mother was beating her. (Who had no intention of ever leaving her house). And her two product-of-incest children certainly needed a new life, if not, also, some fresh air. Through a great alternative schooling program, Precious moves on. Very Oprah. Very good. The movie, really, is very good, if, at times, hard to understand.

I feel abused by my immune system. I was simply born. Out of a birth canal came I…with some DNA passed onto me from my exceptionally runty, sick Sicilian grandfather.

Mo’nique will certainly get an Oscar for her portrayal as the most horrible, most uneducated, mostest meanest bitch on earth. She pulls it off. She even tries to kill her daughter by throwing a television at her, down a flight of stairs. It’s very over the top and you believe it.

Though it seems a bit over the top, I rinsed out my head two to three times each day for four days with Neilmed Sinus Rinse, and when I returned to New York, a good double daily steaming with my Vicks Personal Steam Inhaler . I am in control of my body.

Having never lay claim to her physical being, Precious had to learn a boundary, learn how to read, and to get out of a very nasty situation. A Best Actress nomination is surely in the offing for Gabourdey Sidibe, whom the casting directors must have sighed with relief when she walked into their office as the perfect physical and emotional embodiment of the main character from the novel Push.

I will never get an Oscar for attending to my sinus troubles.

Precious is a movie best watched at home so you can rewind every time you do not understand what they are saying, which is often, and I am usually pretty good at this stuff.

Mariah Carey as the social worker was fantastic and I wish she would massage my forehead and maxillary sinus area every day.

See this movie. Honestly, it starts out a tidge heavy handed, but lands pretty much right in your face. You’ll love it. It’s pretty frigging rough to take. But people survive. We must, whether we are being bashed over the head with apartment projectiles or attacked internally with microscopic haters.

California Intoxicates You

But then the problem is, you are intoxicated.

Welcome back to the blog. I disappeared for a while because my PC computer wasn’t able to wirelessly connect with some funky Mac networks. Friends, it is still a tower of babble out there in computer world.

But I have returned to New York with this knowledge:

1) People in LA think they are very hip, but really, they just like to live in houses. I completely understand.

2) People in New York think they are really smart, but really, they just know where to buy the good cheese, and I don’t care.


Also, if you are prone to bi-polar mood swings, which I might be just a bit, being yanked between two coasts just adds to the bifurcated mood-mind.

The Northeast is kind of like Europe, but worse, because people in New York are money grubbers who think they can buy their way into the King’s court. Note: that fake Dogs-on-the-hunt print will never make you landed gentry, let’s face it.

California is decidedly corporate and everyone’s cool with Crate and Barrel. It’s not great. But it’s honest.

I feel like the child of divorced parents who is trying to reconcile the aggrieved parties. I cannot do it.

So the only answer is to live in two places and deal with the bipolarity. Because one place is not enough.

Not having children—which means we may have missed a lot or that we have dodged some big bullets—we can do as we please. So we will. We need it all.

But frankly, the old world part of me wishes I had been born in a small town that was really enjoyable and I had stayed there my whole life. And by staying put I learned a lot.

LA

We are in Los Angeles. It’s honest.

Kate Bush

Okay, I admit it. Right now I am listening to Kate Bush’s Mother (Stands for Comfort).

You have all these playlists in iTunes…but every now and again you fire up the master list and Kate Bush (or Allah Forbid, Bernadette Peters) comes onto the headphones or out of the speakers.

It’s a surprising event. Worth it.

Does mother really stand for comfort? I think so. Even if your mother isn’t perfect, even if she isn’t that motherly, you do project that she is. So by projection, at least, she is comforting.

My mother was motherly, certainly, but not comforting as part of her daily routine. I don’t know what she stood for. She did the right mother things. And she did a lot of laundry. She cooked veal cutlets. She was a very good cook. She worked in a doctor’s office. She smoked. She was more raucous than any woman that might have inspired Kate Bush’s song.

She was certainly comforting when you were down, my mother.

Mother Stands for Comfort. Yes?


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Santa Claus is Coming Out

Okay---you get that invitation to a one man show and you just GROAN!

NO NEED TO DO THAT!

Honestly, this is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in forever. Written and performed by Jeffrey Solomon and directed by Joe Brancato—you must jump on it.

It closes December 20.

Santa Claus is Coming Out

I have never been to a one person show where the characters and the accents were so clear and differentiated. The jokes were so surprising and original.

When you order tickets, use this code for a discount: STAF


Rock on Santa Claus!

Kandinsky at the Guggenheim

I am not going to review Kandinksy. That would be silly. However, I will say it is worth the trip over to Fifth Avenue and 88th Street. The show is in chronological order. The helix of the museum accentuates any time-hung show. I particularly liked his middle period, the paintings he is famous for. Less did I enjoy the paintings that were Miro or Klee inspired. I think as Kandinsky got older he did not have the strength to resist the style of the era. But, that happens. Okay, I reviewed it.

I am so happy, so very very happy, to go see art, especially art that arises from someone in a very strong, personal way. It gets me so excited and calm at once. Excited, because visual art is often fresh, unique and energized. Calm, because someone else on earth had the balls to be themselves and to put it “out there,” and they didn’t drop dead from ridicule (like I fear might happen to me one day).

Plus, I am not a visual artist, so the pressure is off and my competitive side is not too aroused.

It makes me want to write…and often it makes me want to write things that are not at all narrative, or linear or contextualized. Free. A yam. A string. A song. A bone. Something pushed inside a hole.


This blog entry, and more like it, is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Thankful as Hell

Please have a wonderful time this Thanksgiving week with family and-or friends or alone if you choose! I know some people love to be alone.

I have had a great life…and before I commit suicide, I just want to say---

Okay, let’s try this again.

I have had a great life and I would like to say I am grateful for:

Kevlar
Q-Tips
Pasta
France
My Martin Guitar
Artichokes
My friends from High School, College, Acting School, writing classes, my twenties in New York, friends from LA, my new friends in New York, my friends all over the country, my family, my dead dog.
My father having had the audacity to open a bicycle shop in the ‘70’s
Cheap TJ wine
California
Joni Mitchell
Imperfect Democracy
Theatre
Sean Penn
Joan Didion
Nanny
Tufts
Facebook
Computers
Macaroni and Cheese
Meryl Streep
Scotland
Ireland
Oceans
Biology
Fuel efficient cars
Mary, Jeff, Anne, Noel, Margot, Bradford, Noel, Karen, Tecia
Upstate New York
New York City
Virginia Woolf
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Suffern
Sarah and Jeff
Dan and Leslie
Gary
The Neighborhood Playhouse
The Periodic Table of Elements
Fermi
Noam Chomsky
T.S. Elliot
Richard Ford
My producers
My agent
My Yamaha electric piano
My Baldwin Hamilton piano
My Los Angeles kitchen
My studio apartment in Queens
Adam, always Adam, Adam
Weather
The Weather Channel online
The Ramapo River
George
Janet, Don, Sally & Greg
West Coast Ensemble
The Production Company
Lyda
Kevin
Todd
Palm Springs
Yosemite
Big Sur
Joshua Tree
Oregon
Canada
New Jersey
Obama
Hillary
Bill
Hewlett Packard
Megan, always Megan
Adam’s family, all of them
Cribbage
Cigarettes, when necessary
Good Musicals
Music theory
Voice lessons
Simple food
Legs
Walking
The George Washington Bridge
The Hollywood Hills
South Beach
Paris
Paris
Paris
Germany
The Enlightenment
Chardin
Ionesco
Albee
Woody Allen
Lanford Wilson
Chekov
Aaron Copland
Ravel
Faure
Debussy
Satie
The Pompidou
Kathy K and Stacy K
Henry and Zoe
Expensive Chocolate
Flowering trees
Sweet dogs
Funny cats
Yonkers
The Middle Class
Fat people and Smoke people (Plays)
Suburbia
Urbania
Bucolica
Salt
Spinach
Cheese
Pizza
Beans
Soup
Overcast days
Nudity
Dancing
Picasa
Accounting
Rogaine
Cheap imitation Claritin
Canada Pharmacy
Physical Therapy
Allergy Shots
Hair dye
The gym
The Hudson River
Santa Monica
Book shelves
Blankets
Chairs
Tables
Air






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List Time

I think being a vegetarian is not a bad idea. But I do not know that I could do it.

Squirrels have a 4 – 7 year lifespan. Shorter in cities.

Bill Paxton is a good actor.

Small ideas can become large ones if paid attention to.

Thanksgiving is fine. I think it would be interesting if holidays were every other year. Or, you could have the same holiday, but it could be practiced differently every year over a five to seven year cycle. Could really give you that big arc feeling about living.

I look forward to snow. The colder it is, the fewer allergies I suffer from.

Since we all die, I still strongly feel that throwing our bodies into a huge compactor could give us fuel. And maybe even water. Separate the oil and the water.

Turns out that many people from my high school are now gay. We could have had a club--Other than “Boys who cut gym to hang out in the piano room and the girls who love them.” Thank you Facebook.

I never leave my apartment. I’m writing a lot. I did go to the bakery yesterday and to Walgreens today.

I am becoming a hunchback. I need a new desk.

The problem with the world is over population. Truly. And there is no way to solve this problem. Colonization of other planets?

Never a new thought. Never a new moment. And then it’s all new.

Smallish green men, in the form of pigeons, are no longer living on my air conditioning window ledge because we put in those plastic pigeon spikes. Sorry birds, but we weren’t in the mood.

I am an outer borough leaf lover.

Strange, if you eat less, you do feel and look better.

Living in a clean space is relaxing.

Weaker men than I have done greater things. I must keep moving.

If I had children, I would not buy them colorful, plastic toys. I just wouldn’t.

I need to read fewer New Yorker articles and more books.

I love Megan’s squash lasagna. You must go to Epicurious.

Squash Lasagna

I have nothing to prove. Yet I try.



This blog entry is from www.opentrench.blogspot.com

When Everything Was Great

As we know, Conservatives have been on the wrong side of everything since forever, since before the Haldron Collider. It is hilarious to watch them all puffed up like, well, puffer fish in their latest near-blockage of health care. The big concern? IT’LL COST TOO MUCH!

Well, it already costs too much. Health is a dying industry. Everyone dies and along the way, you try to prevent it but you can’t. This gets real expensive. But we do eventually give up and die. Imagine trying to hold a large beach ball under water. That takes energy. And if you are trying to hold down millions of these beach balls, it would get very expensive. It’s a losing business. Losing businesses bleed money. That’s just how it is.

Given that healthcare is ultimately a cash-loss game for the bodies—but actually, one notes, very helpful for productivity while the bodies still work—this healthcare thing is something we have to do. We have no choice. It simply must be done. It’s not even a moral thing. It’s fucking practical.

So, back to the Conservatives. What will they say in a hundred years after this is all over? “Wasn’t it great back when health care cost private citizens billions of dollars and bankrupted all kinds of folks and then there were the people who died because they couldn’t get access to health care from anyone? I LOVED THAT! And then, there were all those middle men who made wild decisions, based on their profit motive, to get as wealthy as possible off the carcasses of dead people? THAT WAS THE WAY! IF ONLY WE COULD HAVE THOSE DAYS AGAIN!”

I always think of Progressives as those who are simply going back to the future. It’s like, there is this great state we can all live in (Some call it Sweden)—and it is taking us all this effort to fight against those who would have us not return to the natural, better state.

Sad little people.

“IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE!”

Yeah, it is. Just means a few less luxury items for the CEO of Blue Cross.

“HOW DARE YOU TRY TO TAKE AWAY ANOTHER PATH TO BUSINESS WEALTH!”

Oh honey, just shut up and go find another path.




This blog post and others at www.opentrench.blogspot.com

Here Comes Our New Health Plan!

Oh MY! It's so Socialist, right? Come on people. You know, it looks like, now, we might have the votes. And if it passes, well, it's law. And if it's law, well...we are in for a new era.

I thought today, "How many people have died, truly died, because of our heinous health care system?"

I wish there were a way to count it. It makes you sick even thinking about it...but until health care passes, don't think about it, because you don't want to get sick before the new legislation!

Look, so many people think they will not be affected---but everyone will be affected in three major ways.

1) The tension that you feel at the doctor's office will be much less.
2) You won't sweat your medical bills.
3) The national and WORLD economy will improve.

So, put down those pork skins, get on the treadmill, and do your part to keep the United States trim and healthy. And rest assured--when the huge corporations give you cancer as a byproduct of all the other "great" things they give to you, at least they can't do that final sweep after your death and take up all your money for healthcare bills, too.

People hate sharing. It means they have to forego the idea of endless wealth. Ugly gorillas.

I'm Writing a Movie

I usually don’t talk too much about what I am writing. I mean, it is one thing to write but then to write about what you write? (And it requires a certain amount of writing to even figure out what you are going to write and then once you figure that out, there is all this writing that happens to organize the writing so you can get down to writing.)

Clearly---a chore-filled thing to do. So why would anyone want to hear about these chores? My father was an accountant at a car dealership. He never talked about his work. But my mother, who was kind of chatty, talked a lot about her work in a doctor’s office, which was just talk about work. I was always amazed how my father never said a word about what he did. But I kind of liked it, too, because he was very present, over the minute steaks or meat loaf or chicken under canned soup, and we did not have to listen to how his day was put together.

So, whether I have made a choice to not talk about my writing for some esoteric reason or I am simply modeling my father’s behavior or I would rather wait until my writing is complete so I can yell, “Surprise!” when I unveil it, will remain a mystery to us all.

But breaking tradition, and using this blog entry as a bit of procrastination between hour long bouts of movie writing, I am announcing that I am writing a movie. And it is enjoyable. There is much planning that goes into a movie. And lucky for me, I am working closely with a company that has made some big movies, so I am getting notes, really good ones, in fact, the first good notes I’ve ever gotten, so I am not flying blind. This feels perfect. And, if you are going to write something commercial (that is also, hopefully, unique) you might as well make sure it has a commercial swing to it.

So, I am writing a movie. I said it. It’s comedic. There is a murder-by-negligence that gets the story really moving. One world falls apart to reveal another one. Right now---I am finishing up the major scaffolding. Scenes to fly out shortly.

If you are writing a movie, I hope you are having a good time. I survive on homemade vegetable soup with lots of cabbage (Thank you my Recognized-by-the-State-of-California-Domestic-Partner Adam), Typhoo tea (I reuse the bag about six times so the tea just gets weaker and weaker---like I’m an old lady on a fixed income), almonds, and those digestif cookies that are really crackery with a glaze of good chocolate over the top. That’s enough.

And—my new computer with the 4gig Ram. RAM ON!

I like movies. I always have. They can be very crisp, bright events. They can carry you off. They are a good break from that dull life of shoe laces and email. And even though they say film is a visual medium, I can assure you, words, words, words are the basis.

Money

Let’s all face the truth. New York is all about money and that’s a problem.

I love the subways. But I have never been anywhere on earth that is more about the greenback than New York City.

It is no wonder they flew the planes into the World Trade Center. I would have, if I was some sort of religious freak.

This town is out of control when it comes to cash. It is expensive and the simplest dinner costs a hundred bucks.

Blech.

A Friend of Mine from College Reminded Me of my Wall Poster

 

I'm No Criminologist

I am no criminologist, but I do enjoy math.

Currently in the United States, 1 in every 31 adult persons is either in jail or prison or on parole or probation. That amounts to 7.3 million Americans and a cost that exceeds $68 billion annually. This figure does not include juveniles accountable to the U.S. correction system.It breaks down like this:

1 in every 45 Americans is on parole or probation

1 in every 100 Americans is in jail or prison

1 in every 11 African American adults is in jail or prison

1 in every 27 Hispanic American adults is in jail or prison

1 in every 45 White American adults is in jail or prison


It’s ridiculous and we lead the world. By far.

I will post the full wiki entry about it below. I know, I know, “Wikipedia is often wrong.”

Actually, in this case, upon surfing the internets (We love you George W!), it pretty much turns out to be the same numbers everywhere you look.

What on earth is going on?

We are such a nonintegrated nation. People are so incredibly rich or poor. And so many of the poor end up in jail. I HAVE NO ANSWERS! Except, maybe a total redo? OY with all this liberty!

I just, there are all these people eating artisanal cheese and then you throw everyone else in the pokey?

Very upsetting stuff.

You can’t fight with math. Math is math is math.

This shit feels very military dictatorship to me.

And then, people have such a hard time figuring out where to send their kids to school. I don’t know about you…Less prisons, more schools, maybe?

This upsets my stomach. I have to take a shower.

Read on. Hunker down. Keep your nose clean---you might be the next one behind bars.

Incarceration in the United States is a concurrent power under the Constitution of the United States, which means that prisons are operated under strict authority of both the federal and state governments. Incarceration is one of the main forms of punishment for the commission of felony offenses in the United States.

Less serious offenders, such as those convicted of misdemeanor offenses, may receive a short term sentence to be served in a local city or county jail, or to alternative forms of sanctions such as community corrections (halfway house) or house arrest. Different U.S. prisons operate at different levels of security, ranging from minimum-security prisons -- that mainly house non-violent offenders -- to Supermax facilities that house the more dangerous criminals such as Oklahoma City bomber Terry Nichols and September 11 conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui.

The United States has the highest documented incarceration rate in the world. It also has the highest total documented prison population in the world. As of year-end 2007, a record 7.2 million people were behind bars, on probation, or on parole, with 2.3 million of those actually incarcerated. More than 1 in 100 American adults were incarcerated at the start of 2008. The People's Republic of China ranks second with 1.5 million, while having four times the population, thus having only about 18% of the US incarceration rate.

The federal government, states, counties, and many individual cities have facilities to confine people. Generally, "prison" refers to facilities for holding convicted felons (offenders who commit crimes where the sentence is more than one year). Individuals awaiting trial, being held pending citations for non-custodial offenses, and those convicted of misdemeanors (crimes which carry a sentence of less than one year), are generally held in county jails.

In most states, cities operate small jail facilities, sometimes simply referred to as "lock-ups", used only for very short-term incarceration—can be held for up to 72 business hours or up to five days—until the prisoner comes before a judge for the first time or receives a citation or summons before being released or transferred to a larger jail. Some states have "unified" systems, in which all the jails and prisons are operated by the state. The federal government also operates various "detention centers" in major urban areas or near federal courthouses to hold criminal defendants appearing in federal court.

Many of the smaller county and city jails do not classify prisoners (that is, there is no separation by offense type and other factors). While some of these small facilities operate as "close security" facilities, to prevent prisoner-on-prisoner violence and increase overall security, others may put many prisoners into the same cells without regard to their individual criminal histories. Other local jails are large and have many different security levels. For example, one of the largest jails in the United States is Cook County Jail in Cook County (located in Chicago). This facility has eleven different divisions, including one medical unit and two units for women prisoners, with each of the eleven divisions operating at a different security level, ranging from dormitory-style open housing to super-secure lock-down.

In the state of California, to prevent violence, prisoners are segregated by race, ethnicity, and sexual orientation while held in county jails and in the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation's reception centers, where newly committed prisoners are assessed prior to being transferred to their "mainline", long-term institutions.

BIG ONE COMING IN!

Apparently, some sort of Ida leftover is about to pummel the East Coast. I love a good storm. And I know they love me.

So--what will it be? A flooded New Jersey? Trees down across Connecticut? High winds blowing geese into buildings?

Or will it be something simpler? Like, maybe, nothing at all?

I loathe anticipation without payoff.

Boycott

I have come to the simple conclusion that if these narly men in the senate do not pass the healthcare bill, then there is something effective we could choose to do to get wholesale change: Boycott.

That’s right. Tell your employer, “No need to pay for insurance any longer. I am not interested in fattening up the middle men for mismanaged care.”

If we can get just 32% of the population to do this, the insurance industry will collapse and the government will have to take EMERGENCY measures, which will mimic the post WWII environment that so brilliantly brought national health care to most of the civilized world.

How hard is it to boycott? It just means asking your employer to KICK YOU OFF the insurance list or to discontinue your COBRA payments or whatever overpriced hell-plan you are involved with.

We have the choice. How hard can this be?

Did You Know Who Fela Was?

I sure didn’t. I mean…what a life!

My favorite part of the play was when he explained how he put the music together. It’s African drums with Cuban horns and then American Funk---it’s Afrobeat.

Plus, it’s not only brilliant music pastiche, the shit got political.

I walked into the theatre having no idea what I was getting into.

Bill T. Jones choreographed and directed and even wrote (along with Jim Lewis). They used the original music and lyrics of Fela Aninkulapo-Kuti. In essence, this play is jukebox musical meets polemic biopic. That might sound awful, but it is anything but. Bill T. Jones is an award winning genius. Look him up. I have met him a couple of times. He is tall and in charge in the greatest way.

The set, lighting and costume designs are so damn smart and beautiful.

The dancing and the music, that intoxicating Afrobeat music, the sexy smart pride, all of it, I’m all for it. And you might as well be, too…because if you let yourself experience this great thing, you will be so much happier.

The cast is past solid, they are spectacular. And when Momma riffs a cappella for what feels like three minutes, when the music returns, she has not flattened, not a hair, you could fall down.

Fela started as a musician and got worked up into being very political. He suffered at the corrupt hands of the horrendous Nigerian government.

Sure, you could save your money and miss this and add it to the other cash you are saving for a trip to Madrid, but I think this is better. (When you see the play, you will get the Madrid joke.)

If you do not live near New York, well, I am certain there will be a very cool movie made of this.

This review is not a scam email asking you to give me money.

Back Up in a Day

Pardon me for this very dull posting…I just have to be practical, here.

Spent the day buying a computer, loading it up and troubleshooting.

The biggest waste of time? Itunes. Something about getting the music right…

It doubles things. It will not behave. Definitely a case of the tail wagging the dog, even though I have never fully understood that expression.

I’m hard on computers. My hard drives burst, bubble and die. Backed up, always backed up. Stay backed up. Back up some more.

On a more natural note: it is spring in New York. Just has that feeling. One last blast of easy air.

Makes for a good time. For everyone.

Happens All the Time

Friends,

My computer died today. R.I.P. Being a conservationist-sort, over the past five years, when my computer would fall apart, I would buy a new hard drive and rebuild the beast---keeping the old box.

But finally, and this is four hard drives later, I have decided to let go of the ghost and get a new Windows 2007 jeeber.

Here we go.

Enjoy your Monday. Everything is in retrograde and there is no turning back.

Weekend List

The Public Health Option will increase the rate of divorce.

Shoes are best worn on your feet.

Los Angeles is a town of tyrannical happiness. New York is a town of violent greed.

True screwball comedy needs to make a comeback. With today’s sensibility. I do not mean fart jokes.

Everyone projects in their own special way. If you find yourself about to pass judgment for what someone is doing, you are only talking about yourself.

Very successful people all have similar catered parties. Miserable failures decorate their lives uniquely.

Mold is the next plague.

All opinions are self serving.

Bananas are Allah’s way of reminding you every morning that you are not quite enough.

Paris is expensive and full of Americans.

Ned Beatty is a wonderful actor.

Almost every story wraps up in a way that is untruthful.

Germans are violent romantics.

Long walks in the woods are necessary for all mankind.

Siblings are the victims of Darwinian competition, to each other.

Do not eat chocolate before going to bed.

Right Wingies are right: maximized liberty will maximally destroy the planet, which is what we are here to do if the Second Law of Thermodynamics is, indeed, true.

The shorter you are, the harder your life.

Ego kills, but first, it makes you survive.

If you have a baby hand, shake with the other one.

Remember: Christ died for your sins, but all the other guys on all the other crosses were criminals.

Illegals and More

There is much talk about illegal immigrants and the horror (imagine the horror!) of giving them health coverage.

Well, if an unwanted guest came to visit you and he was stung by a bee on your porch, would you not give him some mud, maybe a couple of pain killers and a shot of Benadryl or Epinephrine, if necessary?

If one does not want unwanted guests on his porch, wouldn’t it be best to make sure that no one could get on it?

I am all for math and I understand the accretion of human beings taking over the land, uninvited, is a problem. But Righties hate taxes and then they hate that there is no money in the government to patrol the border.

If people are here illegally and they are sick, maybe they can be sent back to their mother country? Even if the trip kills them? Is that the answer? Really?


* * *

I was at the gym today, running, here in Queens, land of the diverse and the new. I was surrounded by mostly Colombians and Peruvians, not very tall, and almost all, overweight and in my opinion, unsightly. After having spent years running with young wannabe-movie-stars in Hollywood who are thin, trim, keeping me firmly in their blind spots, my current experience of sweatin’-with-the-chubbies from another continent is, at worst, repellant and at best, kind of sweet.

I often feel, in Queens, that I am living in the coda of a Twilight Zone episode where I am a racist and some big shenanigans has gone down, tailored perfectly for me, and now, I have to live among the “others.” This is good for me in many ways. Though I do miss the trim ass of whitey in Hwood.

If any of these people were to get sick, and from the looks of things they certainly will---and assuming at least some of them are illegal, I say, “Haul ‘em over to the doctor’s office and give them what they need!”

Wishful Drinking

I have always wanted to see Carrie Fisher’s one woman show, Wishful Drinking, and tonight, I sat down at Studio 54 and watched it.

Carrie Fisher is funny and smart and likeable.

She did not need to do this thing in two acts. One long one would have been plenty.

The best part of the whole play was when a board came down showing head shots of her family tree and all the linked divorces and children. Her father left her mother for Elizabeth Taylor who left him, quickly, while on the set of Cleopatra.

Look—Carrie Fisher has the gift of very down-home humor.

One of the most fun nights I’ve ever had was listening to her commentary on the DVD of Postcards from the Edge. She sounded tanked. Usually, the DVD comments are puffed up with ego and self-importance. Her comments were so self deprecating and witty. It was this DVD commentary that made me a fan of hers. I think I have listened to no more than two of these things in my life. Glad Carrie Fisher was one of them.

I don’t know if you need to break a sweat running to Studio 54 to see this show. But, if you are in town and you want to sit and smile and have a good time, jump in! You can get tickets for half price, easily.

Carrie Fisher makes you feel like she is your friend, really talking to you. That’s a performing gift. Her perspective as a former movie icon come poster child for bi-polar disorder is quite unique. And she thinks it is funny.

And so do others. A good time. Certainly.

People...Lots of 'em

All this abstraction and blame!

People are very judgmental about (yet very involved with) twitter, facebook, you name the mess.

But how dare they? It’s just the natural evolution of society.

Simply, people are isolated by overpopulation and they want to be with other people. But there is no town square. There is no town.

It is just a swamp of mankind…hurling around in their mini coopers and their mini vans.

So let’s give eggs a break. Let people tweet and post.

The only thing that concerns me is---all this time sitting in front of a computer screen—how can that be good for your health?

I am certain that people who spend more time with other people in real town squares are much happier and healthier than people who spend mountains of time, alone, behind a computer screen.

People are reaching out. But in a weird way. We move away from interaction. We become more silicone every day.

Next:

Everyone tries to be a star, in their own little online way, because they want to be seen. This is also normal. Though twisted.

Kings always received their witnessing by others. Democratization brings upon kingships, albeit in a pared down manner. Kings didn’t do what they did because of some abstraction thrust upon them. It was monkey behavior, the natural outcropping of human desire left unchecked.

And now, all the monkeys have the time and the resources at their disposal to make themselves seen and heard, or at least give the impression that that is going on.

Fun. Right?

Congratulations

Susie and Bart tied it on Halloween.
In Athens, Georgia.
They are in love.

It was a great weekend party. Attention to beauty and detail was all there. Soft Autumn color in hilly Georgia. Our best LA friends convened. Good red dirt. The Oconee River.

Congratulations on your marriage. Yes. Love.