She was a big one. All that death. Death.
Death.
In my house, the doggy is really heading for it, too. It’s strange…the look in her eyes is like a dog on narcotics (she is), cancer juice is distending her abdomen.
She walks very slowly and sleeps most of the day.
During her walks, she is excited. When people come to visit, she is as welcoming as ever. She still gets down and with alternate paddling, paws her nose. She still has much joy. So, we enjoy that together.
Adam, my Recognized-by-the-State-of-California-Domestic-Partner and I, were born a month apart. We were both due to be born just two days apart but I came out early and he came out late, so I am technically older but our DNA is on the same clock. We are racing toward death from the same starting gate. I have a friend who is fifteen years younger than her husband. She is in full tilt at work while he sits at home recovering from triple by-pass surgery. She knows he is going to die first. It must be strange living with someone who is so much closer to his natural end and then you must, certainly, witness and abet the corpsifying.
I don’t mind having death looming in the world, or death looming in my house. Sometimes, I’ll get very upset because of the impending loss. Other times, I think, “Can’t wait to throw out that ratty old dog bed.”
Death is sad, liberating and for Myanmar, a decimation. For me, it is business as usual, with a grounding rumble, a release of grief, an expansion and then maybe a thought about a snack.
4 comments:
It's so a day at a time.... For everybody!
Doggie's too!
I'm just sad I probably won't get to see her again.
Honeybunches,
This came yesterday from Rob Breszny: PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "Don't eat any food that's incapable of
rotting," says Michael Pollan in his book *In Defense of Food: An Eater's
Manifesto.* In other words, highly processed foods with a long shelf life
don't contribute to your optimum vitality. I'd like to expand this rule to
make it an all-purpose guideline for life. Try out this hypothesis: If you're
involved with any person or situation that never decays, or if there is
some part of you that never decays, that's highly suspicious and may be
a problem. Like growth, rot is a natural phenomenon. Indeed, every
advancement requires or brings the disintegration of whatever it replaces.
You can't grow if you don't rot! The "perfection" of stasis can be
hazardous to your health! So let me ask you, Pisces: What's due to rot in your world?
It seems relevant, somehow, to poor and sweet Louise.
I think we don't do a very good job of getting ready for death in this country. In other places, it seems like death is sort of just the logical next step and there isn't a whole lot of freaking out to be done. Here, it's always a horrible surprise.
Of course the sky is dimmer by one vibrant a star when someone we love dies.
Sweet, sweet Louise.
Thank you 40liscious!
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