Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Big Fight Is Expensive

The two party system is a football game. Americans love their sports more than anything else. More than religion. More than money. Americans are lovers of the fight.

Our “land of opportunity” has chosen for simple minded people. “I could stay here in this horrible country or I could go to Americay.”

You had to be the kind of person who could simplify your life into those terms to get to these great shores. The rest who were left behind, they had a more grayish world view, “Well, I could starve to death here, and I might be murdered for believing in my weird bird-God, but I like the trees, the kids like it here, too, and well, I don’t know, what do you think, Mary?”

And thus---a decision was not made because there were too many variables, and well, why the hell just not decide? Gray.

But those of our ancestors who did decide (and granted, we all know some were brought here against their will. Sorry.)---but those who did decide, they must have been ever so slightly more black and white in their thinking.

And now we have a two party system. And it is awfully annoying.

So while Obama has to have a televised therapy session with the ReStubborncans, China is taking over the wind turbine industry, the sun cell industry, you name the industry.

China is, I think we can agree, a very old country. And though they are technically still Communist (I guess?), there is a long history of being a whole lot of other things: Confucius followers, subjugated citizens of foreigners, subjugators of others, grand inventors, a monarchy, traders, isolationists, you name it.

But---they did figure something out over time---more-than-one-party-systems are a big pain in the ass. So why not make it one party and get shit done?!

As a Chinese woman who leads cultural tours of China that I met in Ferndale, CA once said to me, “The U.S. and China are the same! We are the same! We are both very practical and we both like to make money!”

I think the U.S. likes to fight more than it likes to make money.

Not that money is everything…but certainly, getting done what needs to be done IS everything, which often leads to money.

I like the multi-party runoff systems in many parliamentary countries. I have often thought I could live in France. But there is a humor and music problem there.

The United States is falling behind because people here are very black and white in their thinking, very entrenched, like to fight and are not nimble.
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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Simple Blog

Please. Download Tina Turner EDITH AND THE KINGPIN—Herbie Hancock.

That’s it.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Screening Party

My friend and fellow DIY person (and so much more) has an arch, understated approach to all things with a no-sacred-cows eye on pop culture. He has launched his television pilot on YouTube and it is faboola.

I bring you Dennis Hensley’s SCREENING PARTY

Add wonderful comments when you’re done. There are four parts. So sit back, relax and enjoy the show! (And if your cousin is in the TV business, have her(im) watch it, too.)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Call Me Creepy

One of the screaming points of those on the “right” who oppose gay marriage is:

“I don’t want my child to come home and say to me, ‘When I grow up, I can marry Johnny or Susie.’”

Okay, that would be strange. But would it be, really?

Two parts here.

First of all, when I was a kid, I remember this boy down the street who said, MORE THAN ONCE, “Back when I was a little girl…” He had this idea that when he was a baby he was a girl, and at present, he had become a boy. He was very much a wild little boy. This might seem off topic. But I bring it up to point out that kids are very loose about boys, girls, etc. And then, for most kids, they get to that age when their sex is extremely defining for them. So, there is a trajectory and it isn’t neat. Later on, when I was about eleven, all the boys, and I mean all of them, were messing around with each other sexually. And I hear that lots of the girls were, too. And in college? Well, you can imagine those elite campuses filled with all those bi-curious devil worshippers! Even in the eighties! (Especially in New England).

Okay, but to the second part and the part that is really the part that might make me sound creepy, but here I go. Would it be SO WRONG if kids did end up having this idea that they could marry anyone at all? I mean, I know it would be drastically culturally different. But could this whole thing that is happening be some sort of collective Mother Nature way of population control? And now we are finally getting around to recognizing how natural and evolutionary it all is and therefore approaching legalizing recognized marriages between same sexes at a federal level? And if not that (because you simply cannot prove this, even though certain sea turtles and many fish and worms will change sex if there is not enough of the opposite sex around…and it happens uniformly, by exact ratios or by convenience, depending on the species)—well, would it not be simply fine?

People get used to seeing certain things. Once people get used to seeing lots and lots of same sex couples around, won’t it just be a big ol’ ho-hum, get moving, Cracker Barrel is having an early bird special?

If children are led, even made to believe that a future of sex and marriage with anyone is possible, well, so what? The worse that could happen is we end up with less children, overall. And that is not a problem. That is a big win.

The real problem is this: How do you keep an economy strong with a population that is shrinking? Easy---it is done all the time. Poke around the internet.

Call me creepy, but I think kids might as well have the choice and might as well talk about it, because, really, this is how it is heading.

Kids will be different. Kids always are. The world is complicated and we don’t exactly understand the planet or where it will bring us. But trying to keep things as they have always been? It has NEVER stayed the same. EVER.

(And for the record---every liberal person I know could care less if their child married someone of the same sex. They really mean it. This infection is forever. Just love it. You know Jesus does.)

Call me creepy. And then, just relax.

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Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Blind Side

Okay, we saw it. Thanks, screener people.

The Blind Side

Look, say what you want about Republicans, Christianity, etc., that Sandra Bullock can act.

We cried and shit.

When you do the generous thing, that’s it—it’s existentially right. It’s goodness.

And, it’s cheesy. But so what? If I saw it on a plane, I would have liked it even more.

Sometimes, you give over to your inner mall self, and you just say, “Okay, fine, I’ll go with it.”

I’m not Susan Sontag, so I’ll just give this one a pass.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Was Concerned

Okay, look, I wanted Hillary. I've said it before, I'm saying it now.

This is the deal with President Obama, in my humble opinion: the dude is ALL over the place! Sure, he's smart...but get some shit DONE.

One thing I like about Republicans (and I even admired it in Lunatic GW) is that they take action. Sure---it could be wrong. Sure, it WAS wrong. But, there wasn't all this dithering.

Now, I think there should be some dithering. And this is why I am a moderate Democrat. But at some point, stop the fucking dithering and finish it up!

I only say this because I think Obama could have gotten in there with the health care thing, sooner, with a big sack of black nuts, and said,"Dudes, we are finishing this by January 15 'cause there's a special election a-brewin' in Massachusetts."

I mean, there's always a clock ticking. Always. You don't have the luxury of playing around forever, making sure everyone likes you, while the Huns are looking to replace a solidly Democratic chair with a Republican one.

To my Republican friends---look, you are apples to my oranges...and I don't fully understand your world view. But I do understand your disgust with mamby-pamby liberals. I share that disgust. Obama--put down that neatly wrapped bunch of arugula and finish up this job, pronto.

Worse case scenario, I guess I can go sign up at Kaiser. I mean, they yanked out my appendix for ten bucks back in '98. And I lived. And no scarring. But damn! There aren't good Kasiers all over the country. And there should be...or something, or, I don't know, or Haiti, or climate change, or wars in two countries, or a surprise 46 year old birthday party, or here-come-the-gays-to-the-supreme-court for their equality.

Oh Obama---don't be a Carter redo. I can’t stand the thought of a Reagan redo.


Gays on Trial!

I am really wondering how it is going to turn out.

Do weigh in. When it goes to the Supreme Court, what do you think will happen?

I have fear.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Next Time---Less Shit Sherlock

We got in the car, drove to Astoria and went to a plex and saw Sherlock Holmes.

It was a cartoon. It was sort of silly, all the martial arts type movie fighting. Whatever. Boys. Funny, though, you have this somewhat soft story between Holmes and Watson and then all this fight stuff for those who need excitement-by-destruction. Some people say the relationship between Holmes and Watson is sort of gay. I don’t know. Seems like a lot of guys I knew in their twenties who were simply upset that their best friend was getting married, leaving the single guy behind.

All the clues clues clues throughout the movie…but that’s all it was, an accretion. Which I hear is how the books are. Then, at the end, Holmes wraps it all up. There is no chance that you can figure it out while you watch it because you don’t get any insight into what Holmes is thinking. You just get to see what he is seeing. Then, the big reveal. So, time passes and you just don’t think. You observe. It is all very passive and you do not get invited in, until the unneeded fighting, and even that, well, what is that?

So to not spoil anything, there is this evil guy who thinks he is the next coming of the Anti-Christ. The whole British Empire is what he wants. Power hungry. Masons kind of thing. Annoying. But the physical world is what Holmes is all about. And so is the movie, in its execution and then, philosophically.

Fights, mayhem, etc.

Looks like Guy Ritchie simply went, “Sure, I’ll take the big paycheck. Let’s make this thing.” It was certainly beautiful. Robert Downey Jr. was fantastic, as always. Jude Law kept up.

I was bored.

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Myers-Briggs Time

Oh Come ON! Every five years or so, isn’t it fun to take The Myers-Briggs Personality Test?

It’s free. Just over 70 questions, yes or no. Just jump in and do it. It’s better than some silly Cosmo Quiz. (And, yes, dahlings, you are pleasuring your man correctly.)

No matter how many times you take this test, the results are almost always the same. I’ve been an ENFP since day one. Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiver. (The exact opposite would be Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging). I once read a funny chat about a woman who was dating “According to Myers-Briggs scores-compatibility.” She said she really didn’t like dating ENFP men (teachers-writers-counselors-film producers) because they are always crying!

But of course, what this is all about is figuring out what you should DO with your life…which I kind of know already. They use this test to help people figure out their careers. But affirmation is enjoyable. As is procrastinating.

Enjoy yourself. You might as well. Be honest. See what famous people have your same type. Read about your type in depth. It’s all free. It’s better than horoscopes. It’s self indulgent. But what the fuck! You’re an American. That’s how you roll.

Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Let me know your results. I bet I can guess.

More info at wikipedia

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Hell Hole Haiti

There are some places that are so awful, and so nearby, you feel like the best thing to do is just let the entire nation in.

I say, give most of Nevada to the Haitians. I’ll go for a couple of years and help them with English and bookkeeping.


How can these people endure so much?

Whenever you read about Haiti, you just think, “Can there really not be a speck of wood anywhere? Is it truly all mud slides and Hurricanes (and now earthquakes) with, get ready, 60% unemployment? How can this be?”

What a fucking mess.

Back in the day, I was a short order cook and I worked with all these fabulous Haitian women. I got to practice my French and they got to wash dishes. They were so funny and alive. I mean, those indomitable spirits! I imagine the whole country of Haiti is filled with such spirit. Of course, my sample in Mahwah, New Jersey was too small to extrapolate from.

But now that my memory is kicking in, there was also the garage sale in Ramsey, New Jersey, back in the 90’s, when a huge van pulled up and twelve amazing faces jumped out and my mother said to me, “Keep your eye on those Haitians.”

And she was right. After the twelve of them jumped back into the van, we noticed at least ten things were stolen. Ah, well, garage sale crap. Let the Haitians have it.

What a failed nation. Haiti makes West Virginia look like Bel Air.

Poor place. You know, it’s so random. Enslave people, free them, disenfranchise them, leave them with nothing, abandon them when they get too surly, on a small piece of land, and you just get misery. Okay, it is not so random. It is math. But for the people who live there, it was a random experience to be born there.


Love waves to Haiti. And a boatload of penicillin.

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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Fourteenth Amendment, Section 1

Section. 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

You know what? I think we devil-bent gays could really win this one. We are federaled up.

Look at the last sentence. How can any judge read this and say, “Yeah, but not for the gays.”

This is our Roe v. Wade. I love that it’s called Perry v. Schwarzenegger. How can you get upset about gay marriage when anytime you say Perry v. Schwarzenegger you kind of giggle?

This landmark case will get kicked up to the Supreme Court. And one does think it could pass 5-4 and this moronia will be over from sea to shining sea.

Until then, I remain,

Adam’s Recognized-by-the-State-of-California-Domestic-Partner: Separate, unequal, but living like married folk anyway.

(And yes—you can tell a second grader about a prince marrying a prince. But only tell them that about 1 out of every 120 times you are talking about princes. With princesses, well, you can tell them that princesses always go through a princess-on-princess stage: during or after a bad hetero marriage, while at Vassar or Smith, or any other time she damn well feels like it. Marry on, sisters.)

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Monday, January 11, 2010


Another Great Reason to NOT watch Fox News.

Sarah Palin

Some faves:

1. "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." --Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008

2. "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil." –-Sarah Palin, in a message posted on Facebook about Obama's health care plan, Aug. 7, 2009

3. "All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years." --Sarah Palin, unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

4. "Well, let's see. There's ― of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ―" --Sarah Palin, unable to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

5. "We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ... We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation." --Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in Greensoboro, N.C., Oct. 16, 2008

6. "[T]hey're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." --Sarah Palin, getting the vice president’s constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado, Oct. 21, 2008

7. "Who calls a shot like that? Who makes a decision like that? It's a disturbing trend." –Sarah Palin, pushing a conspiracy theory that "In God We Trust" had been moved to the edge of coins by the Obama administration (the change was made by the Bush administration in 2007 and was later reversed by Congress, before Obama took office), West Allis, Wisconsin, Nov. 6, 2009

8. "Ohh, good, thank you, yes." --Sarah Palin, after a notorious Canadian prank caller complimented her on the documentary about her life, Hustler's "Nailin Palin," Nov. 1, 2008

9. "They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan." --Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in San Francisco, Oct. 5, 2008

10. "I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out." --Sarah Palin, referring to a department that does not exist while attempting to explain why as president she wouldn't be subjected to the same ethics investigations that compelled her to resign as governor of Alaska, ABC News interview, July 7, 2009

Thank you Daniel Kurtzman for these quotes.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sell it: Renewables

Obama is doing what he said he would do.

I am thrilled that he got behind the health care thing, even though it is going to be quite imperfect.

And he is juggling the wars.

Hugely and beautifully, he is also having the government invest in the development in renewable energy. Something else he said he would do.

But there is one thing he is not doing. He is not getting people working. Of course, he did not say he would.

But my optimism is the renewable energy stimulus will BE the job stimulus. We have so much to do. And as Washington D.C. jumpstarts this new economy, so goes the whole country. As we all know, we are way behind Europe, China and Japan is this area.

I want to say it loud! Obama, RENEW US!

(And fifty years from now, the Republicans will be shouting, “YUZE NOT TAKIN’ ‘WAY our RENEWABLE MONEY.”)

It is happening now. It must. A new society. Based on providing energy for ourselves. And we can get the hell out of the Middle East. Right?

I am saying nothing new here.

Okay, and this is the shadow side. My fear. Obama will not get passionate enough to sell this through. The dude needs to lead us on this. He is, sadly, like me. I have an idea and I think, “Shit. This is so obvious. Of course everyone is going to jump on board. It’s logical.”

But people are not logical. And I have brain-narcissism.

So Obama---do us all a favor. Come forth and sell this. Sell it hard. Make people KNOW that this is the future. The job future. The investment future. The economic future. The peace future. You must sell it. Sell. Sell. Sell.

Thursday, January 07, 2010


He get all soft at the end there?

You know, there is something disgusting about the California prison system. I’ve never been to prison, but it always seemed likely I could have landed there.

There are far more prisons than Andersen’s Pea Soups, and I’ve been to some of those. So math would suggest that prison would not be far behind for me.

It is sweet that the Governator wants to divert money away from prisons into higher education. But this makes no sense. The money should be diverted to EARLY education. Most of the kids who make it to higher education, well, they are not the ones who usually end up in prison.

These little kids, come on!

Give them a hand!

Send the money to the elementary schools.

I do not understand prison. If I did something terrible, that landed me in the pokey, I do not see how on earth that would change anything.

Seems to me that each person who commits a crime needs to be attended to, 24-7, by a team of personality re-shapers (which would include education). Soon, too, maybe a little DNA tinkering. I mean, just a bit. Hell, I wouldn’t mind a little DNA tinkering myself.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

The Orangutan and the Hound

Thank you, Annie.

This, fresh in. It makes me believe in mammals.

I love them. Click here. You'll have a great time. It fills you full of love.

The Orangutan and the Hound

Dropping the Romance

Can you believe they’re gone?

Streetcar--Highland Park

I can.

I mean, come on, they were slow and tired! My cousin put this photo on her Facebook page. These suckers ran all over Los Angeles back in the day. This photo is from the 1950’s. I mean, it’s no wonder they pulled them out.

But—friends in the West. You need something. Start digging.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Feeling of Newslessness

Friends, doesn’t it all feel a bit repetitive out there?

Funny, you open the paper and there is not much new. Health Care gets hammered out forever. Terrorist are terrorizing. People kill people and then they go on trial.


You kind of want something to blow. But you want its largeness to be a good largeness.

Something wonderful and really, really new. Could happen.

It really could happen.

I have been blogging for almost five years. Absurd, really.

I was resistant at first. I thought, “Come on? Blog? Don’t I have enough Hambone going on in my life?”

It has been a good way to write every day. Truly. Keeps you tingling along.

If only I could run into some news.

Okay---here is some news. It is cold outside. At first, I thought this was a terrible thing. Having lived in Southern California for a long time, with its easy, warm-cool air, the Northeast felt aggressively inhospitable. But you get used to the weather. And then, it just seems natural. Maybe I could get used to Barrow, Alaska. (Hi Mary.)

Okay, that is not news. That’s just weather talk. See? There is no news.

Something big will happen soon. People want it. So we will create it.

May your 1-5-10 lurch you toward newness.

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Sunday, January 03, 2010

A Single Man, A New Decade

It is a time pressured situation, but it is good to jump into something if you have the time and are so inclined.

First, quickly buy Christopher Isherwood’s A Single Man, the Novel and read it in one sitting. It is short. You can do it. Let it live in you for a couple of days. Then, go see A Single Man, the Movie.

If that’s a ridiculous idea, after all, a new decade has begun and there is shit to do, then just go see A Single Man, the Movie. It is lush while always remaining brown and cream. It is so well done, you kind of cannot believe it.

Tom Ford, who knew?

Julianne Moore was wise to do this movie. It establishes her as an almost-comic-actress. She has a blast. And her hair is art.

One of my favorite novels, I must say. It is gay, written by Mr. Gay himself, all in the Santa Monica Canyon, all Britishy and romantic and ex-pat and sad and dramatic and literate and funny and brilliant with a light touch and an amazing eye. Yeah, it is.

Read it.

But see the movie, too, before, if you do not have the time to read, or after, if you do. The movie design stuff is beyond. And Colin Firth gets it exactly right.

There is some story jiggering for the sake of the movie. I do not agree with it. But, one must let it go.

Rarely such a good gay movie hits the screen. You know how they can get—all mawkish. Well, this one has its mawk, but it is held in a good place.


Welcome to the teens. The gay decade.
Goodbye Yemen. A Retreat from Allah-land.
Gimme Health.
Moderate-ism in ascendance.
Race is over.
Bad employment numbers.
People losing their houses.
Greatest income gap between rich and poor since the ‘20’s.

Too much violence.
Technology has replaced face-to-face contact.
Fat people.
Some government stabilization, but still, plenty of pain.
Food. People are obsessed with food preparation.
Americans are as split as ever. But each half is enjoying living in its portion of consciousness. Maybe best to leave it?
Smart people figuring out the earth.
Mix the world up. Mix it up.

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