Nothing
ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.
Pema Chodron
Well, if you know Pema, like I don’t (but have read a book
or two of hers) you will understand that she means this with love and not with
any judgment.
However, let’s get into when this applies, at least, when I
believe it applies. Say, every time something happens you have a certain kind
of negative response that is larger than is necessary. I think it applies there
until you figure out why you are overreacting. Or, if you always ___________
whenever faced with _____________ and you really do not want that second
______________.
However, I do not believe this applies to the victimized.
Like, “You will continue to be victimized until you learn to endure it better.”
The problem with aphorisms—is they are often out of context.
But what we must do, because aphorism are so useful, is apply them where we
believe they are useful. If we take an extreme literal stance on all sayings,
like, “You create your own reality,” and find while saying this that we are
living in a Concentration Camp, that is probably not the time to apply that
statement.
If you begin with a loving understanding, and presume you
are heading in the direction of love for
others, the self, animals, the planet, something else, so many sayings are
wonderfully useful. If you in a very
dark place, sometimes you just have to get the hell out of there in a primary
way before Pema can kick in.
Lastly, what we need to know is never an intellectual thing.
It is always one of those
I-accept-the-truth-of-these-feelings-and-where-they-come-from thing. You can
never really think your way out of a state. You can temporarily distract
yourself, which is great. But you have to get to the bottom of it. And usually
the feelings have something to do with primary reactions to original
environment that gain momentum and heft. But when we know what it is, that can
be reversed.
I have seen wealthy men in the hills of LA with terror in
their eyes about fear of loss.
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