Thursday, August 10, 2006

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court

Joey: But I’ve served this state, my country for three terms. How could this happen to me?

Hadassah: Get ready. It’s going to be a great service tonight, boobala.

Joey: I can’t go to the temple. Look what happened last night in London! Are the citizens of the great state of Connecticut so blind that they don’t see that we need to stay the course in Iraq? Don’t they know we have to stand behind the president so he can be strong and make democracy in the Middle East?

Hadassah: Joey, honey, you lost. Does my hair look like a wig?

Joey: But I’m the man! I’ll run an independent campaign that will knock down these ignorant doves. Like smashing through the walls of Jericho!

Hadassah: You and what army, Joe-Joe?

Joey: Our army, Hadassah!

Hadassah: Connecticut doesn’t have an army. Did you get the candles that I like?

Joey: Those extremists. Those damn devils. We have to exterminate them!

Hadassah: You’re getting a little Bergen-Belsen on me, booby. Put on your tallis and get over here.

Joey: But, Had, those Arabs, we have to change them. We just have to. They’re fanatics.

Hadassah: Did you have a B.L.T. today? There’s tomato on your collar.

Joey: You know I don’t eat bacon.

Hadassah: You better not.

Joey: I would never.

Hadassah: It isn’t right. Especially when there’s so much chicken.

Joey: We have to make those Arabs see it our way!

Hadassah: They never will.

Joey: I’m flying to London. I’m going to stand in the middle of Heathrow with all the cameras on me, and I am going to make it known that Joe Lieberman will stay the course! No matter what!

Hadassah: You can’t fly. It’s the Sabbath.

Joey: This is an emergency.

Hadassah: Don’t stretch it, Joe-Joe. Scotland Yard took care of it.

Joey: But the world needs me!

Hadassah: We’ll have the fish you like.

Joey: I won’t be eating fish. I’ll be in London. I always find a way to win. I always cover my ass. I always have a senate seat ready in case I lose. I have to. I know what’s right for the world. I know what’s right for this country. I know what’s right for the Middle East. God is on my side! The world absolutely needs me.

Hadassah: My little gray schmuck, no it doesn’t.

1 comment:

Rebecca Waring said...

He just doesn't get it, does he? There's an article in today's Washington Post about moderate Republicans rallying behind Joe's independant campaign. Why doesn't he just switch parties? Really.