Monday, October 03, 2005

The Gut Doctor

Somehow, my blog posts are getting quite personal...

I will keep this brief, blog a bit differently in the future or maybe even take a little blog vacation:

1) I went to the Cedars-Sinai Tower today to see a gut genie, a very respected and very affable gastroenterologist. He listened to me for a very long while, took notes, and spent some time pressing all around my gut. We went back into his office and he looked deep into my eyes and told me, "You are very healthy. There is nothing wrong with you. I doubt you even have GERD. You just have sensitive body issues. Try these pills and call me in three weeks. But really, you are perfectly healthy."

When I started to talk about every single thing you can talk about in relation to gall bladder, GERD, and everything else, he would calmly look at me and just say, "You are perfectly healthy."

I went home and ate a huge meal, had a glass of wine and had absolutely no negative reactions to the food. That fucker hypnotized me into health. He's a genius. For most people, the gut is this reactive emotional place so this gut doctor must see stress case nuts like me every single day. And how does he do his healing? By convincing you that you are totally fine.

2) I spoke with my mother. She thinks I have become addicted to the computer and that I need to get out of the house. I think she might be right.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Dan said...

I must see this man. I haven't eaten dinner and I can't get to sleep because my stomach weavels have multiplied and want out.

My State-of-California-Recognized-Wife will cast me out of the marital bed if she suspects I have gas.

I hope your Blog continues, but go with your gut - er, do what you think is best.

Anonymous said...

You're lucky. My trip to the ER with the same symptoms lead to the diagnosis of "middle age" which exacerbated my drinking problem and the increasing expansion of my J-LO ass. Love you and get the ativan anyway.

Rebecca Waring said...

I'm addicted to your wonderful blog. As a matter of fact, I'm having a panic reflux acid attack just thinking about having to log on at work and not having Open Trench to delay the inevitable. Oh well. Be healthy. It IS a state of mind, for sure.

Jeff said...

when is the midweek party?

Don Cummings said...

The party's over. I'm 43 and it's time to stop running away.