Monday, September 10, 2007

If This Stall's a Rocking'...

As vile as Larry Craig is for his hypocritical standing on family values/gay rights/etc.—I really do believe this gray haired natural homophobe from another generation needs to get off. From his charge that is.

First of all, placing cops in bathrooms to catch gay people doing anything at all just reeks of bad fish, Puritanism and Totalitarianism.

Secondly, why can’t you pick up someone in a bathroom? Total strangers eye each other across bars, Little League Games, the office, airplanes and then, very quickly, may end up in a romp. Can you arrest someone for trying? “Love those breasts. Wanna do me?”

Sure, if people are actually going at it in a bathroom stall, I guess a cop should have the right to break it up. But at what point is human contact illegal? If I hold hands with Adam, my RBTSOCDP* of fourteen years, in a men’s room and even say something to him like, “I can’t wait to go home tonight, watch TV, eat pork chops and then perhaps we can, you know...” can I be arrested? What if I gave Adam a peck on the cheek in that bathroom? What if a complete stranger finds Adam to be very adorable and they strike up a conversation in a bathroom and that stranger ruffles Adam’s hair and pats his hind as a joke and says, “Have a nice day, cutie.” Is that punishable? I should hope not.

There is something crazy going on here. Sure, I understand. You don’t want sex going on in public places. In our culture, for some reason, public sex has been collectively defined as a problem. I disagree with that notion. But I also understand that I’m in the serious minority opinion here. So, okay, I accept that people, all people, should not engage in public sex for the sake of order and let’s face it, aesthetics. However, when is something public sex? And when is something just a cry for public sex? Who draws that line? It’s so scary to know that the government has decided what that line is.

Additionally, if two men are in a bathroom stall going at it, wouldn’t it be much more polite to just let them finish up? Instead of taking them in for mug shots?

And finally, if men are free and easy enough to have sex all over the place, including bathrooms, bushes, rest stops and exit ramps, then shouldn’t we all just agree that men can kind of be just like that? Especially when it comes to two men together? Perhaps there should be pay stalls around, just for this purpose? Like those groovy Paris toilets of yore? (Which they did end up taking down because people were having sex in them. Even France has its limits.)

My suggestion to cops: People are sexual. Leave them alone. If you don’t want people having sex in bathrooms, do what the French do: Put an old lady in there with her mop and tip dish to watch over things. Nothing keeps the blood more even and a penis more flaccid than an old French lady.


*Recognized by the State of California Domestic Partner

2 comments:

Rebecca Waring said...

The whole thing is a bizarre reflection of our twisted culture. I'm offended that they entraped him. I'm offended that he's a liar. I'm not offended that he's gay. But that seems to be the crime for which he's being publicly villified.

Dan said...

Maybe the cops are more like me and homojealous rather than homophobic. It's just not right that a gay man can say, "shit my connecting flight is late, I'll just kill time with a blow job in the bathroom."